* * *

"All men are cowards," declares a lady-writer in a weekly journal. Still
it should be remembered that one of us married the lady who is now known
as "Mrs. Grundy."

* * *

In describing a storm a local paper recently stated that waves seventy
feet high lashed themselves to fury against the rocks. We have always
been given to understand that waves never exceed fifteen feet, but we
suppose everything has gone up since the War.

* * *

"When is the Government going to commence operations in connection
with the Channel Tunnel?" asks a correspondent in a daily paper. We
understand that unless the English homing rabbit, recently released at
Calais, puts in an appearance on this side once again, the idea will be
abandoned as impracticable.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "SHALL I DUST THE BRICKY-BRACK, MUM?"

"NOT TO-DAY, NORAH. I DON'T THINK WE CAN AFFORD IT."]

* * * * *

HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIRS.

"Head Laundress wanted, titled lady."

_Irish Paper._

This is what results from washing dirty linen in public.

* * * * *

"L'AMITIE FRANCO-ANGLAISE

UN TELEGRAMME DU ROI GEORGE I^ER A M. MILLERAND."

_Le Figaro._

The attention of the POSTMASTER-GENERAL should be drawn to the unusually
long delay in delivery.

* * * * *

"The Rat Catcher then said 'Look behind.' I looked behind, and
there on the seat was strapped a larger cake. This contained 145
live rodents."--_Local Paper._

And now the pie with the four-and-twenty blackbirds must also take a
back seat.

* * * * *

BELLES OF THE BALL.

A football eleven composed of work-girls from a Lancashire factory
recently journeyed to Paris to play a team of French female footballers.
With women forcing an entry into the ranks of minor professions, such
as the Law and Politics, it is doubtful if even the sacred precincts of
professional football can now be considered safe, and Mr. Punch wonders
if he may soon find himself reading in the Sporting Columns of the Press
paragraphs something in the nature of the following:--

Kitty Golightly, who has the reputation of being one of the fastest
young women seen in London this season, has now definitely thrown in
her lot with the Tottenham Hotstuff. Her forward work is likely to cause
something in the nature