representative calling at Mr. Hustler's house this morning to inquire if
it really were true that Mr. Hustler has for a long time had his eye on
Jennie Macgregor, Mrs. Hustler, the charming wife of the chairman, was
understood to reply that she would like to catch him at it.

* * *

The regrettable incident at Stamford Bridge on Saturday last, when
Gertie Swift was sent off the field by the referee, is to our mind yet
another example of the misguided policy of the League management. Gertie
Swift was strongly reprimanded by Mr. G. H. Whistler, the official in
charge of the match, for an alleged offence. Gertie Swift retorted. Mr.
Whistler warned her. Gertie again retorted. Mr. Whistler then ordered
Gertie to retire from the game. Whilst we quite agree that a referee
must exercise a strong control it is perfectly obvious that no
self-respecting woman player is going to allow any mere man to have
the last word; and the sooner the Football Association realise this and
dispense with the services of all male referees the better for the good
of the game.

* * *

Our arrangements for a full report of the English Cup Final are now
completed. Our fashion experts are to journey to London with both teams,
and a detailed description of the hats and travelling costumes worn by
the players will appear in an extra special edition of this paper. We
understand that the two rival elevens are to turn out in silk jumpers
knitted in correct club colours by the players' own fair hands during
the more restful periods of their strenuous training.

* * * * *

A CASUAL FAMILY.

"Small house or flat required; one child (off hand); any
district."--_Daily Paper._

* * * * *

INCREASED OUTPUT.

(_A comparative study of incentives to labour._)

The miner's _role_ is not for me;
These manual jobs I always shun;
In the bright realm of Poesy
My thrilling daily task is done.
My songs are wild with beauty. This is one.

Yet has the miner, not the bard,
A life that runs in pleasant ways;
His labour may be pretty hard,
But, when compared with mine, it _pays_.
Scant the reward of my exhausting days.

I bear no grudge. I don't object
To watch his wages soaring high,
If, as I'm told, we may expect
To see him resolutely ply
His task with greater vigour. So must I.