ishly thinking that this
adventure would necessitate an early visit to my club. I had just
decided what brand of cocktail would best meet the case when I felt a
tap on my shoulder and looked up at a vast blue expanse which I realised
later was a policeman.

"If you've quite finished with that there 'orse you're sitting on, young
man," he said, "the leddy wants to take it 'ome."

The crowd chuckled and I rose hurriedly. Unfortunately, so did the
horse, urged on, possibly by the cries and kicks of several willing
helpers, or possibly by the sight of his mistress, who had come up, I
hoped, to thank me.

Not only did the horse rise, but he rose at full speed and without
giving me time to get my foot off the rein on which I was unwittingly
standing.

My leg shot into the air and I lost all sense of direction for a few
seconds. Then a slight shock, and I found myself clasping the "leddy"
firmly round the neck.

At this juncture my aunt appeared.

My aunt, I should explain, is nothing if not dignified. She is built on
the lines of a monitor, bluff in the bow, broad in the beam, slow and
majestic of movement. Her lips were moving feebly when I saw her, but
she uttered no sound, uncertain, I suppose, whether to intervene or to
pretend that I was in no way connected with her.

Paralysed by her arrival, I saw her slowly take in the scene. Her eye
wandered from the policeman to me, from me to the unfortunate girl
to whom I still clung. I could see her jumping--no, moving
ponderously--towards the wrong conclusion.

Mr. Punch, what would you have done?

Yours faithfully, An N. O.

[Your first thought should have been for the girl, whom you had clearly
compromised in your aunt's eyes. You should at once have introduced her
to that lady as your long-lost _fiancee_. Later in the afternoon you
could have called on your relative and told her that you had mislaid the
girl again--this time irretrievably.--ED.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FOLLY OF ATHENS.

ATHENA (_to her Owl_). "SAY 'TINO'!"

THE OWL. "YOU FORGET YOURSELF. I'M NOT A PARROT. I'M THE BIRD OF
WISDOM."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, November 15th._--To induce the House of Lords to accept a
measure for the compulsory acquisition of land is analogous to the
process of getting butter out of a dog's mouth; and it is not surprising
that Lord PEEL essayed the task of getting a seco