hin himself--but to the size and ill intent
of the offence upon which they are to fall.--'Injuries come only from
the heart,'--quoth my uncle Toby. For this reason, continued my father,
with the most Cervantick gravity, I have the greatest veneration in the
world for that gentleman, who, in distrust of his own discretion in
this point, sat down and composed (that is at his leisure) fit forms
of swearing suitable to all cases, from the lowest to the highest
provocation which could possibly happen to him--which forms being well
considered by him, and such moreover as he could stand to, he kept them
ever by him on the chimney-piece, within his reach, ready for use.--I
never apprehended, replied Dr. Slop, that such a thing was ever thought
of--much less executed. I beg your pardon, answered my father; I was
reading, though not using, one of them to my brother Toby this
morning, whilst he pour'd out the tea--'tis here upon the shelf over
my head;--but if I remember right, 'tis too violent for a cut of the
thumb.--Not at all, quoth Dr. Slop--the devil take the fellow.--Then,
answered my father, 'Tis much at your service, Dr. Slop--on condition
you will read it aloud;--so rising up and reaching down a form of
excommunication of the church of Rome, a copy of which, my father (who
was curious in his collections) had procured out of the leger-book
of the church of Rochester, writ by Ernulphus the bishop--with a
most affected seriousness of look and voice, which might have cajoled
Ernulphus himself--he put it into Dr. Slop's hands.--Dr. Slop wrapt his
thumb up in the corner of his handkerchief, and with a wry face, though
without any suspicion, read aloud, as follows--my uncle Toby whistling
Lillabullero as loud as he could all the time.

(As the geniuneness of the consultation of the Sorbonne upon the
question of baptism, was doubted by some, and denied by others--'twas
thought proper to print the original of this excommunication; for the
copy of which Mr. Shandy returns thanks to the chapter clerk of the dean
and chapter of Rochester.)

Chapter 2.III.

Textus de Ecclesia Roffensi, per Ernulfum Episcopum.

Excommunicatio.

Ex auctoritate Dei omnipotentis, Patris, et Filij, et Spiritus Sancti, et
sanctorum canonum, sanctaeque et entemeratae Virginis Dei genetricis
Mariae,--

--Atque omnium coelestium virtutum, angelorum, archangelorum, thronorum,
dominationum, potestatuum, cherubin ac seraphin, & sanctorum