erms
with him, if you please; but I am fully persuaded it will be to no
purpose. He will have a very good answer to make:--that I suffered this
match to proceed; that I made him make a very silly figure in it; that I
have let him spend L400 in wedding-cloaths; all which I saw without
saying any thing. When I first pretended to oppose this match, he told
me he was sure I had some other design in my head; I denied it with
truth. But you see how little appearance there is of that truth. He
proceeded with telling me that he never would enter into treaty with
another man, &c., and that I should be sent immediately into the North
to stay there; and, when he died, he would only leave me an annuity of
L400. I had not courage to stand this view, and I submitted to what he
pleased. He will now object against me,--why, since I intended to marry
in this manner, I did not persist in my first resolution; that it would
have been as easy for me to run away from T. [Thoresby] as from hence;
and to what purpose did I put him, and the gentleman I was to marry, to
expences, &c.? He will have a thousand plausible reasons for being
irreconcileable, and 'tis very probable the world will be of his side.
Reflect now for the last time in what manner you must take me. I shall
come to you with only a night-gown and petticoat, and that is all you
will get with me. I told a lady of my friends what I intend to do. You
will think her a very good friend when I tell you she has proffered to
lend us her house if we would come there the first night. I did not
accept of this till I had let you know it. If you think it more
convenient to carry me to your lodgings, make no scruple of it. Let it
be where it will: if I am your wife I shall think no place unfit for me
where you are. I beg we may leave London next morning, wherever you
intend to go. I should wish to go out of England if it suits with your
affairs. You are the best judge of your father's temper. If you think it
would be obliging to him, or necessary for you, I will go with you
immediately to ask his pardon and his blessing. If that is not proper at
first, I think the best scheme is going to the Spa. When you come back,
you may endeavour to make your father admit of seeing me, and treat with
mine (though I persist in thinking it will be to no purpose). But I
cannot think of living in the midst of my relations and acquaintance
after so unjustifiable a step:--unjustifiable to the world,--but I think