ly reception of my
father's ideas--if they have been received as he thinks--is also
owing to you. You will not be deceived, as he would easily be, by
specious appearance, and will support him in the struggle that may
be preparing under cover. I know you will. "His letter is entirely
concerned with music; he does not tell me about his daily life, and,
knowing how neglectful he is of material things, thinking only of
his ideas, I am not a little anxious about him: how he is lodged, and
if there is anybody by him who will see that he has regular meals.
He will neglect his meals if he is allowed to neglect them, so, in
the interests of the musical reformation, somebody should be charged
to look after him, and he should not be allowed to overwork himself;
but it will be difficult to prevent this. The most we can hope for
is that he shall get his meals regularly, and that the food be of
good quality and properly cooked. The food here is not very good, nor
very plentiful; to feel always a little hungry is certainly trying,
and the doctor has spoken to the Prioress on the subject, insisting
that nourishing food is necessary to those suffering from nervous
breakdown, and healthy exercise; of healthy exercise there is
plenty, for the nuns dig their own garden; so I am a reformer in a
small way, and I can assure you my reformation is appreciated by the
nuns, who thank me for it; my singing at Benediction is better
appreciated on a full than on an empty stomach, especially when it
is the song that fills the stomach. And it is my singing that
enables Mother Philippa, who looks after the catering, to spend more
money at the baker's and the butcher's. There has been an
improvement, too, in the cooking; a better watch is kept in the
kitchen, and not only my health but the health of the entire
community is improved.

"We are a little more joyous now than we were, and every day I seem
to be better able to appreciate the happiness of living among people
who share one's ideas. One cannot love those whose ideas are
different, at least I cannot; a mental atmosphere suitable to our
minds is as necessary as fresh air is to our lungs. And I feel it a
great privilege to be allowed to live among chaste women, no longer
to feel sure of my own unworthiness, no longer; it is terrible to
live always at war with oneself. The eyes of the nuns and their
voices exhale an atmosphere in which it seems to me my soul can
rise, and very often as I walk in t