n Ambassador and his
wife--the _Magnifico Pomposo_, they called her, I think it was--and
there was speechifying and hurraying and enough champagne drunk to
float her. That was just three years ago: a super-Dreadnought, they
called her."

"Then how did the British Government get her?"

"Lor bless you, Sir, that didn't come for a long time yet. Ye see,
Italy shortly afterwards made an alliance with Denmark, and, wishing
to do the Danes a good turn, she arranged to sell them the _Magnifico
Pomposo_ at cost price--about three millions I think it was. But
immediately afterwards the Russo-Chinese war broke out, and the
Chinese offered the Danes four millions for the _Dannebrog_, as they
had called her, so by the time the engines were put into her she had
been rechristened the _Hoang-Ho_. But the war never came off: you
remember that Mr. ROOSEVELT settled it by fighting a single combat
with the Russian champion after he had been appointed President of
China; so the Chinese leased the _Hoang-Ho_ to the King of SIAM for
four years at a million a year."

"Did she get out to Siam, then?"

"Oh no, Sir, no fear. The crew ran her on the Goodwin Sands on her
trial trip, and there she stuck for a year. Before they got her
off the Siamese had been released from their bargain by the Hague
Tribunal, Mr. ROOSEVELT had resigned the Presidency of China for that
of Mexico, and the new President sold the _Chulalongkorn_ back to
Great Britain. Of course by that time she was quite obsolete, so they
called her the _Indefensible_, and put a nucleus crew on board for
a few months. Then when Mr. LLOYD GEORGE became Prime Minister, they
offered her to Canada as a gift; but the Canadians didn't like her
name. And when Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL came back last month he decided
that she was to be made a target; but last week I heard she was to be
sold for scrap-iron."

"Then whom does she belong to now?"

"Well, Sir, some says she belongs to Canada, and others say she's
British, and others say she belongs to Mr. CHURCHILL, but in a manner
of speaking I think she rightly belongs to Mrs. Tompkins and me."

* * * * *

"On making enquiries at the Hospital this afternoon, we learn
that the deceased is as well as can be expected."--_Jersey
Evening Post_.

It would, of course, be foolish to expect much.

* * * * *

A NEW BOOK OF BEAUTY.

A hundred years ago they had line, eng