Sir FREDERICK BRIDGE writes to say that the worst quarter of a minute
he ever spent was while tarpon fishing off the coast of Florida, when
a gigantic tarpon, weighing some 400 lbs., leaped into the boat with
its mouth wide open. With great presence of mind the famous organist
thrust into the monster's gaping jaws a full score of STRAUSS'S
_Elektra_, which he was studying between the casts, and the tarpon at
once leaped out of the boat and was never seen or heard of again.

Madame MELBA'S most perilous experience was on a tour in the Far East,
when the liner in which she was travelling was caught by a tidal wave
and hurled with enormous velocity towards the rocky coast of Sumatra.
Noticing that a large whale was following the vessel, and remembering
the peculiar susceptibility of these giant mammals to musical sounds,
Madame MELBA sang the _scena_, "Ocean, thou mighty monster," with such
persuasive force that the whale allowed itself to be made fast with a
hawser and then towed the liner back safely into the open sea.

Mr. Bamborough (formerly M. Bamberger) recounted the episode, already
alluded to in these columns, when he was partially eaten by cannibals
in the Solomon Islands; but the details are too harrowing for
reproduction, even in a condensed form. It is interesting to learn,
however, that a punitive expedition was despatched by the British
Government to avenge the insult, as a result of which Mr. Bamborough
was awarded an indemnity of 1,000 bales of copra, 20 tons of
sandalwood, and L3,000 worth of tortoiseshell.

Sir FREDERICK COWEN, in reply to the circular, states that the closest
call he ever had was when adjudicating at a Welsh Eisteddfod. In
consequence of an unpopular award he was besieged in his hotel by
an infuriated crowd and only escaped by changing clothes with a
policeman.

Professor Quantock de Banville relates how, while obtaining local
colour for his new Choral Symphony, he was attacked by a gorilla in
Central Africa, but tamed the mighty simian by the power of his eye.

In conclusion we may note that the only disappointing answer was
received from Signor Crinuto, the famous pianist, who replied, "I have
never had a close shave, and never intend to have one."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WEEK-END AND THE EXHAUSTED MIDDLE.

TIME--_Wednesday, 4 P.M._

_Client (to office-boy)._ "CAN I SEE MR. BROWN?"

_Office-Boy._ "AWAY FOR THE WEEK-END, SIR."

_Clien