ort of--as it were--a--

By Jove, I can't describe it.

The general impression was that she was an heiress, and the comments
were numerous.

"How graceful!" "Look at that swan-like neck!" "What a perfect form!"
"What a dove-like expression!" "Do introduce me!" "Who is she?"

"She's a poor relation of Mrs. LADLE'S."

"There, I thought so!" "What an object!" "Forcing herself into genteel
society, too!" "The audacity of these creatures is perfectly horrid."

It was BELINDA'S turn to choose next, and she pointed straight at the
man she wanted, and said:

"JEFFRY MAULBOY."

It was natural she should choose him, for he was greatly respected by
all present, and the ladies especially regarded him as simply a hero;
for he was one of the Great Masters in the noble Art of Muscle.

Let me explain.

At the time of which I write, there had been a contest in the
Universities of America between Brains and Muscle, and the latter had
conquered. Brains were accounted a very good thing in their way, but
what we want, sir, is Muscle. If a man can master his Greek, and his
Latin, and his Theology, and his Law, and such frothy trifles between
times, well and good, but he musn't neglect his Muscle.

And so base-ball clubs were organized, and the Long Heels challenged the
Short Heels, and the leading journals published cards of defiance from
the Knockers to the Hitters, together with labored editorials on the
same. And boat-races and sculling matches were set on foot, and once a
year the students repaired with their friends to a city afflicted with a
lake, where, pending the contest, they organized a Reign of Terror,
during which the harmless inhabitants locked themselves in their houses
and clasped their offspring to their bosoms, or gazed terror-stricken
from an attic-window upon the classical marauders below, as they
indulged in a _post-mortem_ examination of a private dwelling, or the
rare pleasantry of roasting a policeman. But dared complain, for public
excitement waxed high on the subject of Muscle.

And when the day arrived which was to decide the momentous question, the
banks of the lake were decked with the beauty and culture of the land,
and fair hands "staked their odds," and fair lips became familiar with
"home-stretches," "spurts," and "fouls."

A body of students crossed the ocean to win a boat-race, and the public
Press told us in very large capitals what they ate and drank, and the
exact condition of a boil belo