FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51  
52   53   54   55   >>  
vice to the Brooklyn Divine. SKEENSBORO, Nye onto Varmont. MY KLERGICAL FRIEND--Feelin it my duty to encourage a man when he strikes the rite gait, I seize the goose-quil to set down and scratch off a letter to you. I've heard you preach, and, to do the square thing, I am constrained to say you've got talents into you, on which to bild a first-class Dominy. My advice is, to let your talents sintilate; don't undertake to hide 'em under a bushel of peanuts. Let 'em blaze, friend B.--let 'em blaze. I dident notiss any bill-boards hangin about your mouth, savin as how "Rooms was to let in your sky-lofts;" but contrary wise, it's my opinion there haint a tenement house in New York which is packed fuller of people than your figger-head is of slap-up idees. You haint afeard to stand out baldly and face the sea of upturned red maskaline noses, or hily-frizzled, gorgeously-got-up femilines, and skatter Fiseology rite and left, not carin a pickaune who's hit or who haint. A man who scores up as you do, is bound to win in the long run, if he only keeps his eyes about him, and don't undertake to go it blind. Yoove got a futer ahead of you bigger'n a meetin-house. Keep ploddin along in the evening tender of your way, and I predict you'l ocupy a front rank among the clergy. I, the lait Gustise, which has served his country for 4 yeer as Gustise of the Peece, tells you so; and havin asshiated with a good many big guns in my day, my profetic vision is as clear as Rine wine. You haint much like a preacher I once useter sleep under. We called him OLD CLOROFORM. His sermons were dredful soothin to take. Old Mother WINSLOW couldent play 2nd fiddle to his preachin, and her sirop is better'n a club to put children to sleep. Why, friend BEECHER, that ere minnister was warranted to talk a squallin young one to sleep in 30 seconds. When our Doctors had a leg to saw off, they always sent for Dominy CLOROFORM to put the patient to sleep. He dident preach "Rest for the weary" without practisin what he preached, by makin his weary congregation rest like kittens. But the old man has been scooped in, and our drug store has gone up on cloroform. His last words were:-- "Sweet sleepers, I go. I'le drug no more." And beneath the mirtle, the Canada thistle, and the gooseberry-bush he rests, with the follerin epitaff on his tombstun:-- Hee's gone to rest, don't wake him up, His labors heer are ore; He useter
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51  
52   53   54   55   >>  



Top keywords:

Gustise

 

Dominy

 

friend

 

dident

 

useter

 

CLOROFORM

 

undertake

 

talents

 

preach

 

dredful


children
 

couldent

 

Mother

 
WINSLOW
 

soothin

 

fiddle

 

preachin

 

asshiated

 
country
 

served


preacher

 

called

 
profetic
 

vision

 

sermons

 
sleepers
 

beneath

 

scooped

 

cloroform

 

mirtle


Canada
 

labors

 
tombstun
 
epitaff
 

gooseberry

 

thistle

 

follerin

 

seconds

 

Doctors

 

squallin


minnister
 

warranted

 

preached

 

congregation

 
kittens
 

practisin

 

patient

 

BEECHER

 

notiss

 
boards