D paper has been prosecuted for asserting that the Prince of
Wales was a fast young man. The prosecution was withdrawn as soon as the
editor confessed that the Prince was loose.

The Treasury Department is much distressed by the great genius for
smuggling displayed by the Chinese immigrants. They secrete opium in all
sorts of wonderful places, and so worry the custom-house officers
dreadfully. Several children have been arrested for bringing their
"poppies" over with them, and feeling in favor of the offenders ran so
high that a number of women were fined for having a share in laud'n'm.

The bull fights in London have come to a mournful conclusion. The bulls
refused to take part, and the principal combatant instead of being all
Matted O'er with the blood of his taurine victims, has been sent to
prison for trying to Pick a Door lock.

The Last of the Piegans is travelling East, on his way to Philadelphia,
to see "SHERIDAN'S Ride." He was away from home when PHILIP was there,
and is very anxious to know the young man when he sees him again. Hence
his laudable anxiety to study the picture.

The Fenian Army.

If the Fenians send an army to aid the Red river insurgents, it may
probably be the only "BIEL" work they will attempt this year.

* * * * *

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District
Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New York.

* * * * *

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT PROTECTION.

DEAR PUNCHINELLO: Having skilfully illuminated Free Trade, I now proceed
to elucidate Protection. You see when we reach Protection, the boot is
on the other leg; _you_ make the conundrums then, and the other man
tries to guess them. There are many kinds of protection; there's the
kind which a State's prison-keeper gives to one of his birds; the kind
which a black-and-tan terrier, or a freshly-imported Chinaman, extends
to a good fat rat; the kind which a pious young man offers to a fair and
tender damsel, when he places his arm around her dainty waist, and
gently absorbs the dew of innocence from her rosy lips, (that idea, is,
I think, plagiarized from TENNYSON,) and the kind which a delicate
mother-in-law, blessed with nerves, pours out upon her son-in-law. But I
leave the discussion of such things to weaker birds, and soar myself to
a higher kind, _i.e._, that Protec