peech is about to be made;
If you say, "Stay and hear it," must you be obeyed?

But ours is a "serious business." True!
And so are some other things serious, too!
Such as courtships, and dinners, and headaches, and blues,
And sight-seeing friends, whom 'tis death[1] to refuse!

Now, many of us (though it should not be said!)
Are really stupid, and haven't much head.
We don't take that view of our duty that _you_ do;
We're often so bothered we don't know what _to_ do!

Our votes look decided--as though we did know;
But that's because BUTLER or SCHENCK voted so.
Such points may come up, in the course of the day,
As would puzzle the Seraphim some, I should say!

Besides, gentle friends! did you ever think so?
Perhaps we are paying you all that we owe.
If you want better service, why send better men,
And be better yourselves. It will all be right, then.

[Footnote 1: Political death, of course.]

* * * * *

Come on, Ladies!

An Anti-mustache movement has begun in Boston. PUNCHINELLO to explain
that it begins altogether with the ladies, and is, of course, Right
Against the mustaches.

* * * * *

For Lunatics Only.

The latest whim of the Lunatics in one of the Indiana Asylums is the
notion that they can design and build opera-houses. Well, we have lots
of crazy architecture, and more than one gentleman has acknowledged
himself insane for investing in opera-houses. But PUNCHINELLO thinks
that the tastes of the insane would be better encouraged if directed to
the building of Courts of Justice. Every Court-house thus constructed,
would be a monument to the Plea of Insanity.

* * * * *

GLIMPSES OF FORTUNE.

You may not think so, my dear PUNCHINELLO, but it is true. I have had
them. I am not one of your bloated aristocrats--just at the present
moment--but I know as well as any one what WHITTIER meant when he said
"it might have been." As an instance of this, I will just state that it
has not been a very long time since, in looking over the columns of one
of our principal dailies, I saw something among the personals which
seemed to touch my interests in, a very decided way. I often look over
the "Personals," for I know well the connection between fortune and the
Press. I have not forgotten the success of A.T. STEWART and many other
millionaires, and t