to kiss anybody they
brought to me, which was usually a boy or a colored cook, so I teased
dad to take me to Rome, and when he got over his being rattled and
robbed and burned by lava at Vesuvius, he said he didn't care where
he went, and, besides, I told him about the Roman Coliseum, where they
turned hungry tigers and lions and hyenas loose among the gladiators,
and the people could see the beasts eat them alive, and dad said that
was something like it, as the way he had been robbed and misued in
Italy, he would enjoy seeing a good share of the population chewed by
lions, if the lions could stand it. I didn't tell dad that the wild
animal show had not been running for a couple of thousand years, 'cause
I thought he would find it out when we got here.

Say, old man, I guess I can help you to locate Rome. You remember the
time I spoke a piece at the school exhibition, when I put my hand inside
my flannel shirt, like an orator, and said: "And this is Rome, that
sat on her seven hills, and from her throne of beauty ruled the whole
world." Well, this is it, where I am now, but the seven hills have been
graded down, and Rome don't rule the whole world a little bit; but she
has got religion awful.

The pope lives here, and he is the boss of more religious people than
anybody, and though you may belong to any other kind of church, and when
you are home you don't care a continental for any religion except your
own, or your wife's religion, and you act like an infidel, and scoff
at good people, when you get to Rome and see the churches thicker than
saloons in Milwaukee, and everybody attending church and looking pious,
you catch the fever, and try to forget bad things you have done, and if
you get a chance to see the pope, you may go to his palace just 'cause
you want to see everything that is going on, and you think you don't
care whether school keeps or not, and you feel independent, as though
this religion was something for weak people to indulge in, and finally
you come face to face with the pope, and see his beautiful face, and his
grand eyes, and his every movement is full of pious meaning, you "penuk"
right there, and want to kneel down and let him bless you, by gosh.

Say, I never saw dad weaken like he did when the pope came in. We got
tickets to go to his reception, but dad said he had rather go to the
catacombs, or the lion show at the Coliseum. He said he didn't want to
encourage popes, because he didn't believe t