ard-earned robberies. I
think dad was about the maddest man there was, until he got some of his
money back, when he felt better, but he gave me a talking to that I will
never forget.

He said: "Don't you know better than to go around with explosives, like
a train robber, and fire them off in a hole in the ground, where there
is no ventilation, and make people's ears ring? Maybe you have woke
up those kings and queens in there, and changed a dynasty, you little
idiot." The rest of the crowd wanted to throw me down the side of the
pyramid, but I got away from them and went up on top of the pyramid and
hoisted a small American flag, and left it floating there, and then came
back to where the crowd was discussing the explosion in the tomb, and
then we all went down the side of the pyramid.

The guides got their nerve back after they got out in the air, because
they wouldn't help dad down unless he paid them something every stone
they helped him climb down, so when he got down he didn't have any
money, and hardly any pants, because what pants the Arabs didn't tear
were worn off on the stones, so when he showed up in front of the spinks
he was a sight, and he bought a turban of a guide and unwound it and
wound it around him in place of pants. I was ashamed of dad myself, and
it is pretty hard to make me ashamed.

We went back to Cairo on the cars, and what do you think, that dead
camel that the Arabs made dad pay for was with the caravan going back
to town, 'cause we saw him out of the car window with the hair wore off
where dad kicked him in the side. The tourists say the Arabs have that
camel trained to die every day when they get to the pyramids, and they
make some tenderfoot pay for him at the end of each journey. Dad is
going to try to get his money back from the Egyptian government, but I
guess he will never realize on his claim.

Well, sir, after dad had doctored all night to get the camel rheumatism
and spinal meningitis out of his system, we took a trip by boat on the
Nile, and saw the banks where the people grow crops by irrigation, and
where an English syndicate has built a big dam, so the whole valley can
be irrigated, and I tell you it will not be long before Egypt will raise
everything used in the world on that desert, and every other country
that raises food to sell will be busted up in business, but it is
disgusting to take a trip on the Nile, 'cause all the natives are dirty
and sick with contagious disea