nothing for the Turks to do but to kill us after we had stampeded
the sultan and all his soldiers by giving them a university yell, but
after we had been confined in a sort of jail over night, dad and I had
a heart to heart talk, and my diplomacy saved us for the time being.
I told dad that what we wanted to do was to tell the Turks that dad
represented the American people, and had a communication to make to the
sultan personally, which would make him rich and happy.

Well, say, they bit like a bass, and the next day they took us before
the sultan at the palace. Dad dug up a package of blank gold mining
stock in a mine that he was going to promote, though the mine was only a
small hole in the ground, and the stock had been offered for one cent a
share, the par value being a hundred dollars, so a man who got a share
for a cent would, when the mine got to paying, get a hundred dollars for
every cent he invested.

Dad filled out one of the stock certificates for 1,000,000 shares, which
would represent a capital equal to all the debts of Turkey, and we went
before the sultan, and we couldn't have been treated better if we
had owned a brewery. Dad told his story to the sultan through an
interpreter, while I looked around at the gorgeous surroundings and
tried to think of something to do to wake them up.

Dad said he came right fresh from the American people, and was
authorized by his mining company to present the sultan with untold
millions, for pure love of the Turkish people, whom they had seen riding
and leading camels at the Chicago world's fair, and dad produced the
stock certificate for 1,000,000 shares of stock in the Golden Horn Gold
Mining and Smelting company, and took out a handful of $20 gold pieces
and showed them to the crowd as specimens of gold that came from our
mine.

He said our people did not expect anything in return, but just desired
the good will of the Turkish empire. He said that President Roosevelt
desired him to present his warmest regards to the sultan, and to invite
him to visit America, and if he would consent to do so, an American war
vessel would be furnished for him and the white house would be turned
over to him for his harem, and dad said the president wanted him
particularly to impress upon the sultan that if he came he must bring
his folks, all his wives that would be apt to size up for beauty with
our American women.

[Illustration: He must bring his folks, and all his wives 289]