ally got upon the
stage and began to look about them, the spectacle that met their eyes
was as unexpected as it was bewildering. From the reporters' tables to
the remotest recesses of the gallery the hall was packed tight with a
motley mob, in which the element of born cut-throats largely
predominated. It was the kind of crowd that could only have been
gathered from the three-cent lodging-houses in Chatham Street. A dense
volume of tobacco smoke, produced from pipes and demoralized
cigar-stumps, choked the room. The evening being rather warm, all
surplus clothing had been disposed of, and so far as could be observed
through the hazy atmosphere, the audience was attired only in shirts. In
one sense it was a highly representative audience. It represented every
nation and every clime on the face of the earth. Had it been selected
for the purpose of showing the cosmopolitan character of the population
in the tenement-house district surrounding Chatham Square, it could not
have been more picturesque. Bristle-bearded Russians and Poles,
heavy-bearded Italians, dark-visaged Hungarians, and every other manner
of unwashed man had been drawn into this Grand Rally of Non-Partisan
Citizens in the Interest of Reform.

Colonel Sneekins looked aghast at General Divvy, and whispered hoarsely,
"There's been a mistake!" Drawing Mr. Spiggott, Editor Hacker, and
ex-Congressman Van Shyster about them, a hurried consultation took
place. It was quickly decided that retreat was now impossible and that
the meeting must go on. They were assisted in coming to this conclusion
by the chorus of lively and altogether friendly apostrophes that came
from the audience in cries of "Wot's de matter wid Reform? Oh, _it's_
all right!"

"Let's go right ahead," said Editor Hacker. "This is a democracy, and it
is not for us to assume that even the humblest citizen lacks lofty
aspirations."

Colonel Sneekins thereupon advanced to the footlights, and was greatly
reassured by the hearty applause which his appearance evoked.

"Gentlemen!" he said, and immediately a storm of cheers arose, delaying
for several minutes his further utterance. "It affords me pleasure to
propose as your chairman to-night the Hon. Cockles V. Divvy."

[Illustration: THE HON. COCKLES V. DIVVY.]

General Divvy came forward, and as he bowed and smiled in answer to the
wild welcome he received, the band played a few bars from "Captain
Jinks." When quiet had been restored, the General s