FIRST MAN

Well, me for the good old U. S. A.! These Alps are all right, I
guess--but I can't say I like the coffee.

THE SECOND MAN

And it takes too long to get a letter from Jersey City.

THE FIRST MAN

Yes, that reminds me. Just before I started up here this afternoon my
wife got the _Ladies' Home Journal_ of the month before last. It had
been following us around for six weeks, from London to Paris, to Berlin,
to Munich, to Vienna, to a dozen other places. Now she's fixed for the
night. She won't let up until she's read every word--the advertisements
first. And she'll spend all day to-morrow sending off for things; new
collar hooks, breakfast foods, complexion soaps and all that sort of
junk. Are you married yourself?

THE SECOND MAN

No; not yet.

THE FIRST MAN

Well, then, you don't know how it is. But I guess you play poker.

THE SECOND MAN

Oh, to be sure.

THE FIRST MAN

Well, let's go down into the town and hunt up some quiet barroom and
have a civilised evening. This scenery gives me the creeps.

THE SECOND MAN

I'm with you. But where are we going to get any chips?

THE FIRST MAN

Don't worry. I carry a set with me. I made my wife put it in the bottom
of my trunk, along with a bottle of real whiskey and a couple of porous
plasters. A man can't be too careful when he's away from home----

_They start along the terrace toward the station of the funicular
railway. The sun has now disappeared behind the great barrier of ice and
the colours of the scene are fast softening. All the scarlets and
vermilions are gone; a luminous pink bathes the whole picture in its
fairy light. The night train for Venice, leaving the town, appears as a
long string of blinking lights. A chill breeze comes from the Alpine
vastness to westward. The deep silence of an Alpine night settles down.
The two Americans continue their talk until they are out of hearing. The
breeze interrupts and obfuscates their words, but now and then half a
sentence comes clearly._

THE SECOND MAN

Have you seen any American papers lately?

THE FIRST MAN

Nothing But the Paris _Herald_--if you call _that_ a paper.

THE SECOND MAN

How are the Giants making out?

THE FIRST MAN

... bad as usual ... rotten ... shake up ...

THE SECOND MAN

... John McGraw ...

THE FIRST MAN

... homesick ... give five dollars for ...

THE SECOND MAN

... whole continent without a single ...

THE FIR