when it is
dead it stays dead.

Sec. 8.

Definition of a good mother: one who loves her child almost as much as a
little girl loves her doll.

Sec. 9.

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little bit jealous. The way
to lose him is to keep him a little bit more jealous.

Sec. 10.

It used to be thought in America that a woman ceased to be a lady the
moment her name appeared in a newspaper. It is no longer thought so, but
it is still true.

Sec. 11.

Women have simple tastes. They can get pleasure out of the conversation
of children in arms and men in love.

Sec. 12.

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are
giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

Sec. 13.

How little it takes to make life unbearable!... A pebble in the shoe, a
cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh!

Sec. 14.

The bride at the altar: "At last! At last!" The bridegroom: "Too late!
Too late!"

Sec. 15.

The best friend a woman can have is the man who has got over loving her.
He would rather die than compromise her.

Sec. 16.

The one breathless passion of every woman is to get some one married. If
she's single, it's herself. If she's married, it's the woman her husband
would probably marry if she died tomorrow.

Sec. 17.

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon. Woman, that she was born so
long ago.

Sec. 18.

Woman is at once the serpent, the apple--and the belly-ache.

Sec. 19.

Cold mutton-stew; a soiled collar; breakfast in dress clothes; a wet
house-dog, over-affectionate; the other fellow's tooth-brush; an echo of
"Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay"; the damp, musty smell of an empty house; stale
beer; a mangy fur coat; _Katzenjammer_; false teeth; the criticism of
Hamilton Wright Mabie; boiled cabbage; a cocktail _after_ dinner; an old
cigar butt; ... the kiss of Evelyn after the inauguration of Eleanor.

Sec. 20.

Whenever a woman begins to talk of anything, she is talking to, of, or
at a man.

Sec. 21.

The worst man hesitates when choosing a mother for his children. And
hesitating, he is lost.

Sec. 22.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from
experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

Sec. 23.

No man is ever too old to look at a woman, and no woman is ever too fat
to hope that he will look.

Sec. 24.

Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives.

Sec. 25.

Bachelors know m