and amused an audience for whole hours, by uttering the same words,
varied only by the art of pantomime and pronounced with a thousand
inflections of different tone,--"The queen said to the king!" Imitate
Carlin, discover some method of always keeping your wife in check, so
as not to be checkmated yourself. Take a degree among constitutional
ministers, a degree in the art of making promises. Habituate yourself to
show at seasonable times the punchinello which makes children run after
you without knowing the distance they run. We are all children, and
women are all inclined through their curiosity to spend their time
in pursuit of a will-o'-the-wisp. The flame is brilliant and quickly
vanishes, but is not the imagination at hand to act as your ally?
Finally, study the happy art of being near her and yet not being near
her; of seizing the opportunity which will yield you pre-eminence in her
mind without ever crushing her with a sense of your superiority, or even
of her own happiness. If the ignorance in which you have kept her does
not altogether destroy her intellect, you must remain in such relations
with her that each of you will still desire the company of the other.

MEDITATION XIV. OF APARTMENTS.

The preceding methods and systems are in a way purely moral; they share
the nobility of the soul, there is nothing repulsive in them; but now we
must proceed to consider precautions _a la Bartholo_. Do not give way to
timidity. There is a marital courage, as there is a civil and military
courage, as there is the courage of the National Guard.

What is the first course of a young girl after having purchased a
parrot? Is it not to fasten it up in a pretty cage, from which it cannot
get out without permission?

You may learn your duty from this child.

Everything that pertains to the arrangement of your house and of your
apartments should be planned so as not to give your wife any advantage,
in case she has decided to deliver you to the Minotaur; half of all
actual mischances are brought about by the deplorable facilities which
the apartments furnish.

Before everything else determine to have for your porter a _single man_
entirely devoted to your person. This is a treasure easily to be
found. What husband is there throughout the world who has not either a
foster-father or some old servant, upon whose knees he has been dandled!
There ought to exist by means of your management, a hatred like that of
Artreus and Th