possible, my dear, but
I would not give a sick dog in charge of a physician who writes.

WIFE A. (interrupting her husband)--I know people who have five or six
offices, yet the government has the greatest confidence in them; anyway,
it is odd that you should speak in this way, you who were one of Dr.
M-----'s great cases--

HUSBAND A. (aside)--There can be no doubt of it!

_The Fallacious._

A HUSBAND. (as he reaches home)--My dear, we are invited by Madame de
Fischtaminel to a concert which she is giving next Tuesday. I reckoned
on going there, as I wanted to speak with a young cousin of the minister
who was among the singers; but he is gone to Frouville to see his aunt.
What do you propose doing?

HIS WIFE.--These concerts tire me to death!--You have to sit nailed to
your chair whole hours without saying a word.--Besides, you know quite
well that we dine with my mother on that day, and it is impossible to
miss paying her a visit.

HER HUSBAND. (carelessly)--Ah! that is true.

_(Three days afterwards.)_

THE HUSBAND. (as he goes to bed)--What do you think, my darling?
To-morrow I will leave you at your mother's, for the count has returned
from Frouville and will be at Madame de Fischtaminel's concert.

HIS WIFE. (vivaciously)--But why should you go alone? You know how I
adore music!

_The Touch and Go Mouse-Trap._

THE WIFE.--Why did you go away so early this evening?

THE HUSBAND. (mysteriously)--Ah! It is a sad business, and all the more
so because I don't know how I can settle it.

THE WIFE.--What is it all about, Adolph? You are a wretch if you do not
tell me what you are going to do!

THE HUSBAND.--My dear, that ass of a Prosper Magnan is fighting a duel
with M. de Fontanges, on account of an Opera singer.--But what is the
matter with you?

THE WIFE.--Nothing.--It is very warm in this room and I don't know what
ails me, for the whole day I have been suffering from sudden flushing of
the face.

THE HUSBAND. (aside)--She is in love with M. de Fontanges. (Aloud.)
Celestine! (He shouts out still louder.) Celestine! Come quick, madame
is ill!

You will understand that a clever husband will discover a thousand ways
of setting these three kinds of traps.

2. OF CORRESPONDENCE.

To write a letter, and to have it posted; to get an answer, to read it
and burn it; there we have correspondence stated in the simplest terms.