rant
officer, reading _Freckles_ with a sentimental expression, and a large
leading seaman with hands like small hams and a peaceful smile like a
jade Buddha. It said "H.M.S. Hedgehog" round his cap, but when I
ventured to remark that I once in peace-time saw and visited that vessel
he observed with indifference that "cap-ribbons was nothin' to go by
these days; point o' fact, he never see that there ship in his puff."
Otherwise they maintained that deep and significant silence which we
have learned to associate with our Navy.

The Tommies, however, were in very talkative vein. "Now," I thought, "I
shall doubtless hear some real soldiers' stories of the War, even as the
newspaper men hear them and reproduce them in the daily prints: the
crash of the artillery, the wild excitement of battle--in short, the
Real Thing...."

A momentous question had evidently been under discussion when they
entered the train, and as soon as they were settled in their seats they
resumed it.

"Wot I want to know is," said the largest of the three, a big man with a
very square face and blue eyes,--"wot I want to know is--is that there
feller to go walkin' about naked?" The last word was pronounced as a
monosyllable.

He set his fists squarely on his knees and glared around him with a
challenging expression.

"No, it's agin the law," said a small man with a very hoarse voice.

"Course it is," rejoined the other. "Well, wot's the feller to do?
That's wot I ast you. If 'e walks about naked, well, 'e gets took up for
bein' naked; if 'e doesn't, why, 'e gets 'ad for not returnin' 'is
uniform."

He looked round again and decided to take the rest of us into
consultation.

"This 'ere's 'ow it stands--see? 'Ere's a feller got the mitten along o'
not bein' able to march, through gettin' shot in the leg. 'E goes 'ome
pendin' 'is _dis_charge, an' o' course e' walks about in 'is uniform.
Then 'e gets 'is _dis_charge, an' they tells 'im to return 'is kar-kee
_an'_ small kit----"

"An' small kit?" burst out the third member of the party indignantly--a
sprightly youth with a very short tunic and a pert expression. "Do they
want you to return your small kit when you get the mitten? Watch me
returnin' mine, that's all!"

"You'll 'ave to," said the voice of Discipline.

"'Ave to, I don't think!" said the rebel ironically; "I couldn't if I'd
lorst it."

"I ain't got no small kit, any 'ow," said the small and husky one; "I
put my 'aversack down w