ent relations with Turkey. The matter
is an urgent one and might become crucial in the event of a Turkish
Zeppelin drifting in a fog over Portuguese territory.

The King of GREECE is said to have found a happy solution of his
difficulty about a Bulgarian invasion of Greece. The incoming forces are
to be provided with return tickets to Salonika and back, available only
for forty-five days, and containing a stipulation that the traveller may
not break his journey at any other point.

* * * * *

"FOR THIS RELIEF--"

(_Suggested by the poster commending a recent Revue as "the last word in
syncopation."_)

The days of our mourning are ended,
The lean years of famine are fled,
When, sick for a spoonful of aught that was tuneful,
We've sorrowed as over the dead
For Music, forlorn and unfriended,
Gone down into glimmerless gloom,
While rude "rag-time" revels were dancing a devils'
Tattoo on her tomb.

A new dawn of promise doth redden
The rim of our Stygian night;
Our bondage is breaking--O blessed awaking
To melody merry and bright!
My heart, long o'erloaded and leaden,
Now bounds to the blue like a bird;
The shadow has shifted; with paean uplifted
I hail that "last word"!

* * * * *

CHARIVARIA.

Leap Year Anticipations.--A fine spring is expected in France, Flanders
and Poland. If the weather is propitious a total eclipse will be visible
in Berlin and Vienna.

***

Asked by some American journalists where the Peace Conference would be
held, Dr. SVEN HEDIN is reported to have said, "Peace will be dictated
from Berlin." And so say all of us!

***

Relations between Potsdam and Sofia are said to be badly strained. Three
days after the Kaiser had issued his celebrated manifesto, "To my noble
and heroic Serbian people," FERDINAND in the Sobranje was publicly
denouncing the Serbians as obstinate, treacherous, and tyrannical. The
KAISER considers this conduct extremely tactless, and threatens, if it
continues, to spell Bulgarian with a "V."

***

All hitherto-published explanations of the threatened German attack on
the Suez Canal are hereby cancelled. The fact is that the KAISER'S fleet
is increasing so rapidly that it has outgrown its present accommodation.

***

During the visit of Mr. FORD'S Ark to Bergen the following notice was
posted up at the Grand Hotel: