Sea or British Ocean, Sir!" said Jimmy, a reply that was
greeted with a rousing cheer by the whole of Form II.

* * * * *

A SECOND HELPING!

Our Bagdad force fell in a rut
At Ctesiphon; Turks made things hum.
We found that we had got to Kut,
Whilst Russians found a way to Kum!

Our men know not the word "defeat,"
They'll make it clear on Tigris plain
That, Russian-like, when they retreat,
'Tis but to cut and come again.

* * * * *

A TURKISH TROPHY.

(_A belated letter from Gallipoli._)

My dear ----, By this week's post I trust you will receive the long
promised trophy, to wit one Turkish headpiece procured by my own
personal exertions. As the story of its capture, though somewhat out of
the ordinary, has been passed over in stony silence both by the official
_communiques_ and "Our Special Correspondent" I shall endeavour to give
you a brief impression of the difficulties overcome as truthfully as my
sense of imagination will allow me. First of all I must draw a map:--

[Illustration:

A B British trench, with traverses.

C D Turkish trench, without.

E F Ditch

G British barricade.

H Turkish barricade.]

This should give you an idea of the English and Turkish lines at a point
where they are about eighty yards apart. Without going into details you
will see the English trench is of the superior pattern, as it has
traverses. I had to work in that technical term to show I know all about
it; I know another, "the berm," but I am not too sure about what that
is, and also I don't suppose I could draw a "berm" if I saw one. Anyway,
I know it's quite a good term connected with trenches, as I heard a
G.O.C. fairly strafe a subaltern, the other day, because he hadn't got a
"berm." Well, to refer to the map, you will observe that there is an old
ditch running between the two lines of trenches, and both sides have
advanced a certain distance along this ditch and have built barricades
about ten yards apart. Every day it is part of my job to take a
constitutional along our trenches, and after discussing the European
situation and the latest Budget with the various battalion commanders to
ask them whether there is any particularly obnoxious part of the
opposition line they would like me to salute with my battery. Usually
they say, "No, there's nothing in particular, but let's have a shoot all
the same; for example, there's a d