n she
takes the fatal vow, may be pure and unsullied, and nothing may seem
able to call her back again to the world which she forsook. But, as
time rolls on, some household servant or aged nurse brings her tidings
of the lover who has been unable to cast her out of his heart, and
whose tears drop silently when he hears aught about her. Then, when
she hears of his affections still living, and his heart still
yearning, and thinks of the uselessness of the sacrifice she has made
voluntarily, she touches the hair[31] on her forehead, and she becomes
regretful. She may, indeed, do her best to persevere in her resolve,
but if one single tear bedews her cheek, she is no longer strong in
the sanctity of her vow. Weakness of this kind would be in the eyes of
Buddha more sinful than those offences which are committed by those
who never leave the lay circle at all, and she would eventually wander
about in the 'wrong passage.'[32]

"But there are also women, who are too self-confident and obtrusive.
These, if they discover some slight inconsistency in men, fiercely
betray their indignation and behave with arrogance. A man may show a
little inconsistency occasionally, but yet his affection may remain;
then matters will in time become right again, and they will pass
their lives happily together. If, therefore, the woman cannot show a
tolerable amount of patience, this will but add to her unhappiness.
She should, above all things, strive not to give way to excitement;
and when she experiences any unpleasantness, she should speak of it
frankly but with moderation. And if there should be anything worse
than unpleasantness she should even then complain of it in such a way
as not to irritate the men. If she guides her conduct on principles
such as these, even her very words, her very demeanor, may in all
probability increase his sympathy and consideration for her. One's
self-denial and the restraint which one imposes upon one's self, often
depend on the way in which another behaves to us. The woman who is too
indifferent and too forgiving is also inconsiderate. Remember 'the
unmoored boat floats about.' Is it not so?"

To-no-Chiujio quickly nodded assent, as he said, "Quite true! A woman
who has no strength of emotion, no passion of sorrow or of joy, can
never be holders of us. Nay even jealousy, if not carried to the
extent of undue suspicion, is not undesirable. If we ourselves are not
in fault, and leave the matter alone, such jealou