start aside like a shying horse. I could have fancied they made
grimaces and gestures at me, like the rocks and roots in Retsch's
etchings of the Brocken; and I used to reach the house with cheeks
flaming with nervous excitement, and my heart thumping a great deal
more with fear than with my wild run home; and then I walked with
the utmost external composure of demure propriety into the
drawing-room, as who should say, "Thy servant went no whither," to
any inquiry that might be made as to my absence....

It seems to me that you would be a poet but for your analyzing,
dissecting, inquiring, and doubting mental tendency. Your truth is
not a matter of intuition, but of demonstration; and when you get
beyond demonstrability, then nothing remains to you but doubt....
God bless you, dear!

I am yours ever affectionately,
F. A. K.

_Monday, December 5th._-- ... My father is worse again to-day.
Ohime! His state is most precarious, and this relapse very
alarming. It is dreadful to see him drag himself about, and hear
his feeble voice. Oh, my dear, dear Father! Heaven preserve you to
us!

_Tuesday, 6th._--My father is much worse. How terrible this is!...
Dall met me on the stairs this morning, and gave me a miserable
account of him; he had just been bled, and that had somewhat
relieved him. I went and sat with him while my mother drove out in
the carriage. I stayed a long while with him, and he seemed a
little better.... My father's two doctors have returned again, and
paid him two visits daily. I read Daru all the evening.

_Wednesday, 7th._-- ... So I am to play Belvidera on Monday, and
Bianca on Wednesday. That will be hard work; Bianca is terrible.

_Thursday, 8th._-- ... My dear father is beginning to gain strength
once more, thank Heaven! I received a letter from Lady Francis
about the play (a translation of the French piece of "Henri Trois,"
by Lord Francis, the production of which at Covent Garden is being
postponed in consequence of my father's illness). Poor people! I am
sorry for their disappointment.... I devised and tried on a new
dress for Bianca; it will be very splendid, but I am afraid I shall
look like a metal woman, a golden image. [The dress in question was