ver,
sufficiently to be able to sit by him for a while with tolerable
composure. Cecilia and Mrs. Wilkinson called, and were very kind
and affectionate to me. They brought news that Harry Siddons had
arrived in India and been sent off to Delhi. My brother Henry, poor
child, came and lay on the sofa in my room, and we cried together
almost through the whole afternoon, in spite of our efforts to
comfort each other. My heart dies away when I think of my dear
father.... I got a very kind and affectionate letter from Lady
Francis; she wants us very much to go again to Oatlands. After all,
perhaps it would not be so sad there as I think, though it must
appear changed enough in some respects, if not in all. Everything
is winter now, within and without me; and when I was last there it
was summer, in my heart and over all the earth. My cedar palace is
there still, and to that I should bring more change than I should
find. Poor Undine! how often I think of that true story. When I
went to the theater my heart really sickened at my work; my eyes
smarted, and my voice was broken, with my whole day's crying. The
house seemed good; I played ill, and felt very ill. Lord M---- was
in the stage-box, which annoyed me. I hate to have my society
acquaintance close to me while I am acting. The play was "Venice
Preserved." After I came home I saw my father, who is a little
better; but now Henry is quite unwell, and I am in a high fever--I
suppose with all this wretchedness and exertion.
_Thursday, 13th._--My father has passed a quieter night, thank God.
I went to Fozzard's riding-school with John, and tried a hot little
hunter that they want to persuade Lady Chesterfield to ride--a very
pretty creature, but quite too eager for the school. While I was
riding Lady Grey came in, very much frightened, upon her horse,
which was rather fresh. She took Gazelle, which I was riding, and I
rode her horse tame for her. It is very odd that, riding as well as
she does, she should be so miserably nervous on horseback.... I
drove to Mrs. Mayo's, who impressed and affected me very much.
Those magnificent eyes of hers are becoming dim; she is growing
blind, with eyes like dark suns. I could not help expressing the
deep concern I felt for such a calamity. She replied that doubtless
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