weed-choked condition," says _The Evening News_, "the Thames
is going to ruin." Unless something is done at once it is feared that this
famous river may have to be abolished.

* * *

As the supply of foodstuffs will probably be normal in August next, the
Food Ministry will cease to exist, its business being finished. This seems
a pretty poor excuse for a Government Department to give for closing down.

* * *

"Music is not heard by the ear alone," says M. JACQUES DALCROZE. Experience
proves that when the piano is going next door it is heard by the whole of
the neighbour at once.

* * *

A weekly paper points out that there are at least thirty thousand
unemployed persons in this country. This of course is very serious. After
all you cannot have strikes unless the people are in work.

* * *

It appears that the dog (since destroyed) which was found wandering outside
No. 10, Downing Street, had never tasted Prime Minister.

* * *

It is reported that when Sir DAVID BURNETT put up Drury Lane Theatre for
sale under the hammer the other day one gentleman offered to buy it on
condition that the vendor papered the principal room and put a bath in.

* * *

A Bolton labourer who picked up twenty-five one-pound Treasury notes and
restored them to the proper owner was rewarded with a shilling. It is only
fair to say that the lady also said, "Thank you."

* * *

Asked what he would give towards a testimonial fund for a local hero one
hardy Scot is reported to have said that he would give three cheers.

* * *

We learn on good authority that should a General Election take place during
one of Mr. LLOYD GEORGE'S visits to Paris _The Daily Mail_ will undertake
to keep him informed regarding the results by means of its Continental
edition.

* * *

A sad story reaches us from South-West London. It appears that a girl of
twenty attempted suicide because she realised she was too old to write
either a popular novel or a book of poems.

* * *

The Guards, it is stated, are to revert to the pre-war scarlet tunic and
busby. Pre-war head-pieces, it may be added, are now worn exclusively at
the War Office.

* * *

At the Independent Labour Party's Victory dance it was stipulated that
"evening dress and shirt sleeves are barred." This challenge to the upper
classes (with whom shirt-sleeves are of course _de rigueur_) is not without
its significance.

* * *

As much alarm was caused by the announcement in these co