particularly crumpled shirt-front--who
presents a sort of compromise between the Scientific Savant
and the German Waiter has just locked up his Assistant in
a wooden pillory, for no obvious reason except to attract
a crowd. The crowd collects accordingly, and includes a
Comic Coachman, who, with his Friend--a tall and speechless
nonentity--has evidently come out to enjoy himself_.

[Illustration: "I have here two ordinary clean clay pipes."]

_The Spectacled Gentleman_ (_letting the Assistant out of the
pillory, with the air of a man who does not often unbend to these
frivolities_). Now, Gentlemen, I am sure all those whom I see around
me have heard of those marvellous beings--the Mahatmas--and how they
can travel through space in astral bodies, and produce matter out of
nothing at all. (_Here the group endeavour to look as if these facts
were familiar to them from infancy, while the_ Comic Coachman _assumes
the intelligent interest of a Pantomime Clown in the price of a
property fish_.) Very well; but perhaps some of you may not be aware
that at this very moment the air all around you is full of ghosts.

_The Comic Coachman_ (_affecting extreme terror_). 'Ere, let me get
_out_ o' this! Where's my friend?

_The Sp. G._ I am only telling you the simple truth. There is,
floating above the head of each one of you, the ghostly counterpart of
himself; and the ghost of anybody who is smoking will be smoking also
the ghost of a cigar or a pipe.

_The C.C._ (_to his attendant Phantom_). 'Ere, 'and me down one o'
your smokes to try, will yer?

_The Sp. G._ You laugh--but I am no believer in making statements
without proof to support them, and I shall now proceed to offer you
convincing evidence that what I say is true. (_Movement of startled
incredulity in group._) I have here two ordinary clean clay pipes.
(_Producing them_.) Now, Sir, (_to the_ C.C.) will you oblige me by
putting your finger in the bowls to test whether there is any tobacco
there or not?

_The C.C._ Not _me_. None o' those games for me! Where's my
friend?--it's more in _'is_ line!

[_The Friend, however, remains modestly in the background,
and, after a little hesitation, a more courageous spirit tests
the bowls, and pronounces them empty._

_The Sp. G._ Very well, I will now smoke the spirit-tobacco in these
empty pipes. (_He puts them both in his mouth, and emits a quantity
of unmistakable smoke_.) Now, in case