. of Dep._ (_roughly_). That's your business, and not ours.
We tell you what we want, and you have to carry out our wishes.

_Em. S._ (_smiling_). You mean the wishes of your class--your order?

_Second Mem._ Well, that's about it. We _do_ represent them. Why we
are sent to you by over 100,000!

_Em. S._ And what is the full complement of your combined trades?

_Second Mem._ About nine millions, but that has nothing to do with it.

_Em. S._ With it! Do with what?

_First Mem. of Dep._ Why, what we require, Right Hon. Sir--what we
require!

_Em. S._ (_amiably_). And that is--?

_First Mem. of Dep._ (_triumphantly_). Oh, you must tell us that! It
is not our place, but yours--see?

_Em. S._ Not exactly. But will you not join me? (_Offers cigarettes._)
And now let us get at the heart of the question. Who is to do your
work for you?

_First Mem. of Dep._ (_puffing at the tobacco_). Don't you think that
could be done by the Government?

_Em. S._ _I_ don't know. I am delighted to see you, because it is with
your assistance that I propose mastering the details of the matter.
But you really must help me.

_Second Mem. of Dep._ (_taken aback_). But, I say, Sir, is this quite
fair? We are accustomed to put up someone such as he (_pointing to
the_ Fussy M.P.), and leave it to him to do all the talking.

_Em. S._ Yes, I know the old-fashioned plan; but I prefer the new.
Pray go on. How will you get your work done gratuitously?

_Fourth Mem._ Oh, come! That's putting it a little too strong! We are
not accustomed to it. What does it all mean?

_Em. S._ I think I can answer you. My good friends, until you can get
an idea of what you really want, you can do nothing--nor can I. So
now, if you have another appointment to keep, please don't let me
detain you. All I can wish you I do wish you. May you all prosper in
your undertakings. And now, farewell!

_First Mem._ Well, Sir, if you won't see us any more, good-bye!

_Em. S._ Good-bye! Mind the steps! Good-bye! [_The Deputation leave._
Eminent Statesman _turns his attention to other matters with a smile
of satisfaction._

* * * * *

"EXCELSIOR! OR STRAIGHT UP!"--Sir DOUGLAS STRAIGHT was knighted last
week. N.B.--Would have been mentioned earlier, if we had had the
straight tip.

* * * * *

'ARRY IN VENICE.

[Illustration]

DEAR CHARLIE,--'Ow 'ops it, my 'earty? Yours truly's still stived