sh bridal it will be
When March brings round the spring time,
And English hearts will hail with glee
The coming of the ring-time.
_Punch_--like his Prince--is "proud to think"
It then will be his duty,
Once more the fine old toast to drink--
"For England, Home, and Beauty!"

* * * * *

TWOPENCE PLAIN.--A PENNY COLOURED.

MR. PUNCH, HONOURED SIR,

I have just received a copy of _The Almanack_, which, if I may say so,
is worthy of the approach to the close of "the so-called Nineteenth
Century." Not to go further into particulars, I should say that
"A Doll's Diary" will be hard to beat in contemporary Christmas
literature.

It was, Sir, not with the intention of making this obvious remark that
I break in upon your reflections. My purpose was moved by discovering
on the front corner of this work of Literature and Art the legend,
"Price 6d.; _Inland postage_, 2d." Looking at the postal cover which
lightly bore the treasure o'er land and sea to this ancient town, I
discovered, that coming under the "foreign postage rate," 11/2d. had
served the turn. Whence it appears, that had I, as usual at this
season of the year, been at my country address, to be found in _Dod_,
the _Almanack_ would have cost me, or someone else (it is beside the
argument), 2d. Whereas, being hundreds of miles away from the placid
pastures that surround The Kennel, Berks, the postage is 25 per cent.
less in amount. In one case, where the larger sum and the less amount
of labour were concerned, the English Post-Office, taking all the
money, charge 2d.; in the other, calling in the assistance of Belgium
and Germany, and of course sharing with them the plunder, 11/2d. is held
to be the fair recompense for the immensely extended labour. Isn't
this something in the way of reversal of the ordinary trade axiom, as
who should say "Twopence Plain; a Penny, Coloured"?

In its immediate application it is a small thing. People privileged
to receive _Punch's Almanack_ through the post will not quibble over
a half-penny. But it is evident that a system which embodies an
arrangement that needs only to be stated to have its absurdity
demonstrated, wants looking after.

I beg to give my friend, the new Postmaster-General, notice that, as
soon as the House meets, I shall put a question on the subject. In the
meanwhile, and always I am, honoured Sir, your obliged and obedient
servant,

TOBY, M.P.

_Kaiserba