way and Parson's fooling,
And the rustic's sole hope-beacon shall no more be "London's Lights."

_Chorus_.--In the Village, new Village, &c., &c.

There the peasant politician with the Guardian shall grapple,
And keep up the rural standard, and keep down the local rates;
The haughty Church no longer there shall lord it o'er the Chapel,
And the Voluntary School shall find the level it so hates.
In short, with Local Government invested, the whole Village
Shall grow vigorous, and virtuous, and prosperous, and proud,
And free from Landlord pressure, and the Parson's petty pillage,
The peasants shall no longer to the slums of London crowd.

_Chorus_.--From the Village, new Village, a happy little spot,
A home of peace and plenty, where oppression may not plot;
Where there's room enough for all.
And the "hind" is _not_ a "thrall,"
In the Village shaped on Democratic lines!

* * * * *

A SAFE NOVEL.

(_WITH INTERPOLATED NOTES BY OUR OWN LEGAL ADVISER._)

CHAPTER I.--THE LOVERS' PARTING.

The sun was setting behind the towers of the church of
Greenborough-on-the-Driblet.

[It must be clearly and distinctly understood that this village is not
intended to refer to any parish with the word "green" introduced in
the title--all incumbents of such livings being the most honourable
and distinguished of men.]

Two persons were bidding one another adieu. The first was a man in the
prime of life wearing a suit of tweeds.

[Please note that the name of the tailor is not given, and it is not
to be assumed for a single moment that this refers to any individual
in particular.]

The girl, for she was only a girl, wore a costume of almost
puritanical simplicity.

[Again no dressmaker is singled out for discussion. It is a purely
fancy portrait.]

They were both in tears. For the hour had come for their parting.

[It is necessary to state that by "parting" no reference is made to
any existing firm of hair-dressers.]

For a moment they were silent, watching Phoebus as he descended in his
glory of purple and gold.

[This refers to the mythical God of Day, and is not to be confounded
with a member of a well-known firm of manufacturers of blacking.]

Then they spoke to one another.

"ZOZIMUS," she murmured, softly, "and is this our last meeting?"

[The name of ZOZIMUS was selected for the hero because it is an
uncommon one, and consequently un