s ye
offspring. Will my Lady Alice testify?

Lady Alice.--Good your grace, an' I had room for such a thundergust
within mine ancient bowels, 'tis not in reason I coulde discharge ye
same and live to thank God for yt He did choose handmaid so humble
whereby to shew his power. Nay, 'tis not I yt have broughte forth
this rich o'ermastering fog, this fragrant gloom, so pray you seeke ye
further.

Ye Queene.--Mayhap ye Lady Margery hath done ye companie this favor?

Lady Margery.--So please you madam, my limbs are feeble wh ye weighte
and drouth of five and sixty winters, and it behoveth yt I be tender
unto them. In ye good providence of God, an' I had contained this
wonder, forsoothe wolde I have gi'en 'ye whole evening of my sinking
life to ye dribbling of it forth, with trembling and uneasy soul, not
launched it sudden in its matchless might, taking mine own life with
violence, rending my weak frame like rotten rags. It was not I, your
maisty.

Ye Queene.--O' God's name, who hath favored us? Hath it come to pass yt
a fart shall fart itself? Not such a one as this, I trow. Young Master
Beaumont--but no; 'twould have wafted him to heaven like down of goose's
boddy. 'Twas not ye little Lady Helen--nay, ne'er blush, my child;
thoul't tickle thy tender maidenhedde with many a mousie-squeak before
thou learnest to blow a harricane like this. Wasn't you, my learned and
ingenious Jonson?

Jonson.--So fell a blast hath ne'er mine ears saluted, nor yet a stench
so all-pervading and immortal. 'Twas not a novice did it, good
your maisty, but one of veteran experience--else hadde he failed of
confidence. In sooth it was not I.

Ye Queene.--My lord Bacon?

Lord Bacon.-Not from my leane entrailes hath this prodigy burst
forth, so please your grace. Naught doth so befit ye grete as grete
performance; and haply shall ye finde yt 'tis not from mediocrity this
miracle hath issued.

[Tho' ye subjct be but a fart, yet will this tedious sink of learning
pondrously phillosophize. Meantime did the foul and deadly stink pervade
all places to that degree, yt never smelt I ye like, yet dare I not to
leave ye presence, albeit I was like to suffocate.]

Ye Queene.--What saith ye worshipful Master Shaxpur?

Shaxpur.--In the great hand of God I stand and so proclaim mine
innocence. Though ye sinless hosts of heaven had foretold ye coming of
this most desolating breath, proclaiming it a work of uninspired
man, its quaking thunders, its fir