nknown
gentleman through the memory of the gentleman's dead father. Colonel
Royale bids me to say, sir, that he is overwhelmed with regret, and
that far from taking an initial step himself it is his duty to express
to you his feeling that his movements should coincide with any
arrangements you may choose to make."

I was obliged to be silent for a considerable period in order to
gather head and tail of this marvellous sentence. At last I caught it.
"At daybreak I shall walk abroad," I replied, "and I have no doubt
that Colonel Royale will be good enough to accompany me. I know
nothing of Bristol. Any cleared space will serve."

My Lord Strepp bowed until he almost knocked his forehead on the
floor. "You are most amiable, Mr. O'Ruddy. You of course will give me
the name of some friend to whom I can refer minor matters?"

I found that I could lie in England as readily as ever I did in
Ireland. "My friend will be on the ground with me, my lord; and as he
also is a very amiable man it will not take two minutes to make
everything clear and fair." Me, with not a friend in the world but
Father O'Donovan and Mickey Clancy at Glandore!

Lord Strepp bowed again, the same as before. "Until the morning then,
Mr. O'Ruddy," he said, and left me.

I sat me down on my bed to think. In truth I was much puzzled and
amazed. These gentlemen were actually reasonable and were behaving
like men of heart. Neither my books nor my father's stories--great
lies, many of them, God rest him!--had taught me that the duelling
gentry could think at all, and I was quite certain that they never
tried. "You were looking at me, sir?" "Was I, 'faith? Well, if I care
to look at you I shall look at you." And then away they would go at
it, prodding at each other's bellies until somebody's flesh swallowed
a foot of steel. "Sir, I do not like the colour of your coat!" Clash!
"Sir, red hair always offends me." Cling! "Sir, your fondness for
rabbit-pie is not polite." Clang!

However, the minds of young Lord Strepp and Colonel Royale seemed to
be capable of a process which may be termed human reflection. It was
plain that the Colonel did not like the situation at all, and perhaps
considered himself the victim of a peculiarly exasperating combination
of circumstances. That an Irishman should turn up in Bristol and give
him the lie over a French pair of breeches must have seemed
astonishing to him, notably when he learned that the Irishman was
quite correct,