rise into absurdity? They not only do both, but they
admit it of each other very freely; individually, they are convinced of
sin, but not of any particular sin. There is not a syndoxer among them all
but draws his line in such a way as to include among paradoxers a great
many whom I should exclude altogether from this work. My worst specimens
are but exaggerations of what may be found, occasionally, in the thoughts
of sagacious investigators. At the end of the {364} glorious dream, we
learn that there is a way to Hell from the gates of Heaven, as well as from
the City of Destruction: and that this is true of other things besides
Christian pilgrimage is affirmed at the end of the Budget of Paradoxes. If
D'Alembert[665] had produced _enough_ of a quality to match his celebrated
mistake on the chance of throwing head in two throws, he would have been in
my list. If Newton had produced _enough_ to match his reception of the
story that Nausicaa, Homer's Phaeacian princess, invented the celestial
sphere, followed by his serious surmise that she got it from the
Argonauts,--then Newton himself would have had an appearance entered for
him, in spite of the _Principia_. In illustration, I may cite a few words
from _Tristram Shandy_:

"'A soldier,' cried my uncle Toby, interrupting the Corporal, 'is no more
exempt from saying a foolish thing, Trim, than a man of letters.'--'But not
so often, an' please your honor,' replied the Corporal. My uncle Toby gave
a nod."

I now proceed to die out. Some prefatory remarks will follow in time.[666]
I shall have occasion to insist that all is not barren: I think I shall
find, on casting up, that two out of five of my paradoxers are not to be
utterly condemned. Among the better lot will be found all gradations of
merit; at the same time, as was remarked on quite a different subject,
there may be little to choose between the last of the saved and the first
of the lost. The higher and better class is worthy of blame; the lower and
worse class is worthy of praise. The higher men are to be reproved for not
taking up things in which they could do some good: the lower men are to be
commended for taking up things in which they can do no great harm. The
circle problem is like Peter Peebles's lawsuit:

{365}

"'But, Sir, I should really spoil any cause thrust on me so hastily.'--'Ye
cannot spoil it, Alan,' said my father, 'that is the very cream of the
business, man,--... the case is come