and our
self-respect must heal our wounded pride.

One thing, however, we can do. We can quietly resist being patronized.
We are not often called upon to accept favors from those who are not our
superiors but who condescend to us because we are poor or obscure. It is
true we must be humble, and we need not resent such favors, but we must
beware of being flattered by the notice of any one who is simply rich or
powerful. When we recognize true superiority either in the rich or the
poor, we ought to be glad to acknowledge it. We can accept a favor from
those who are really above us, though we know we cannot return it. And
we can always be ready to do our best work for others whether they
slight us or not. That does not show a mean but a noble spirit.

What are the essentials of a lady?

A knowledge of the manners of the world is generally considered
necessary if one would be a lady. Even where customs themselves are
trivial, ignorance of them makes a woman awkward and self-conscious, so
that she does not have the grace we associate with a perfect lady.
Etiquette is superficial, it is true, but it has a genuine value. The
manners which belong instinctively to a woman of kindness and refinement
are a far better test of her real rank.

I think, on the whole, a lady is most quickly recognized by her purity.
Even a pure enunciation is a sign of a lady, for it gives a certain
beauty of speech rarely heard except among those not only carefully
educated, but brought up among those who have the same habits. And
nobody is quite willing to pronounce any one a lady who is not
exquisitely neat in her personal habits. These, to be sure, are only an
outward and visible sign, but they point clearly to something within.
Somebody is sure to remember a class of New England housekeepers who
spend all their time scrubbing floors and have no spirit left for
anything else, and ask if they have the visible stamp of a lady. The
idea of neatness is so distorted in them that we cannot admire it very
much, yet perhaps it is their one connecting link with refinement. Such
women, however, are, curiously enough, seldom particularly neat in their
personal habits. Their dress is often untidy, their hair uncombed, they
are careless about bathing, and their teeth are neglected. Personal
neatness is far more characteristic of a lady than neatness of
surroundings, and cleanliness is better than order. The lover of
"Shirley" says, "I have often seen her