ion
should never be accepted, for there is often congeniality between the
hostess and her guest; but it is not worth doing violence to one's
feelings for the sake of accepting it. We say that we do not consider
the "four hundred" really superior to many other hundreds in the city.
In that case let us treat them and their invitations with exactly the
same courtesy and exactly the same indifference that we show to our
other friends and their invitations. I think a young girl is always
justified in objecting to be pushed into society even when her parents
are eager to push her; yet if the matter is urged, it will probably be
best for her to gratify her parents, even at the sacrifice of her own
sensitiveness. It is not for her to judge her parents. Even if they are
wrong, their fault may be like the vanity of a child, because they are
still in the childish stage of education, while the daughter's higher
development is entirely due to their efforts in her behalf.

There are girls whose religious convictions forbid society, and then
they are obliged to withstand their parents from the outset; yet I think
such convictions are uncommon where the parents do not share them. But
there are other girls who sincerely believe that their time can be
better spent than in going to parties and making calls. The conventions
of society seem meaningless to them, and they know if they observe them
all they will have no time or strength for anything else, while if they
do not observe them they will be stigmatized as rude, odd, and even as
self-conceited. One cannot read even the most sensible book on
etiquette without being oppressed with the feeling that a terrible
addition has been made to the moral law in the by-laws which treat of
visiting cards, and every writer on etiquette says mildly but firmly
that there is a reason for all the rules in the very nature of things,
and that if any of us venture to disregard them and substitute our own
reason, we simply show our incapacity for appreciating real refinement.
A part of this is no doubt true. The rules of society are reasonable for
those who give their whole time to society. When a lady has four hundred
people on her visiting list, and a call must be made on each one every
winter on pain of losing the acquaintance altogether, to say nothing of
party calls and receptions and afternoon teas, it is clear that a
language of pasteboard simplifies her duties very much. But for any one
who has a de