wickshire last
week and has not yet been recaptured. We understand that all children under
fourteen living in the neighbourhood are being kept indoors, whilst local
golfers have been sent out to act as decoys.

* * *

It is announced that a baby born in Ramsgate on August 6th is to be
christened "Geddes." We are given to understand that the news has not yet
been broken to the unfortunate infant.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Exasperated Partner._ "LOOK HERE--DON'T YOU EVER GET YOUR
SERVICE INTO THE RIGHT COURT?"

_Partner._ "NO, AS A MATTER OF FACT I DON'T. BUT IT WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY
UNPLAYABLE IF I DID."]

* * * * *

THE RESULT OF A LEAP-YEAR.

"Bishop ---- says he will not be able to consider any more proposals
for engagements till after the summer of 1921."--_Local Paper._

* * * * *

AN ECHO FROM BISLEY.--A musical correspondent writes to point out that
sol-faists have an unfair advantage in the running-deer competition,
because they are always practising with a "movable Doh."

* * * * *

FROM SPA AND SHORE.

GROGTOWN.--All available accommodation has been monopolised by Glasborough
visitors, among whom this resort is becoming more alarmingly popular every
year. Sixty charabancs arrived on Monday and the Riot Act was read several
times before the passengers could be induced to desist from their badinage
of the residents, most of whom have since retired behind the wire-
entanglements at Kelrose. The municipal orchestra was subjected to a brisk
fusillade of rock-cakes on Saturday night; the conductor and several of the
instrumentalists suffered contusions, and their performances have since
been discontinued. This has not unnaturally given rise to a certain amount
of dissatisfaction amongst the visitors, but otherwise there has been no
recrudescence of rioting. A company of the Caithness Highlanders, with
machine-guns, are now encamped on the links, and sunshine is all that is
needed to complete the success of the season.

KEGNESS.--On Tuesday the Mayor presented a jar of whisky, fifty years old,
to the winning charabanc team in the bottle-throwing competition, and the
subsequent scenes afforded much diversion. A notable feature at present is
a large whale, which was washed ashore in a gale about six months ago. The
oldest inhabitants declare that they have never known anyth