absence of
any protest from the Sleeve Links and Scarf Pin Committee they will
probably be granted.

* * *

"I earn three pounds and fourpence a week," an applicant told the Willesden
Police Court, "out of which I give my wife three pounds." The man may be a
model husband, of course, but before taking it for granted we should want
to know what he does with that fourpence.

* * *

Scarborough Corporation has fitted up and let a number of bathing vans for
eight shillings a week each. To avoid overcrowding not more than three
families will be allowed to live in one van.

* * *

"Three times in four days," says a _Daily Express_ report, "a Parisian has
thrown his wife out of a bedroom window." Later reports point out that all
is now quiet, as the fellow has found his collar-stud.

* * *

"Who Will Fight For England?" asks a headline. To avoid ill-feeling a
better plan would be to get Sir ERIC GEDDES to give it to you.

* * *

A noiseless gun has just been invented. It will now be possible to wage war
without the enemy complaining of headache.

* * *

"Everyone sending clothes to a laundry should mark them plainly so that
they can be easily recognised," advises a weekly journal. It is nice to
know that should an article not come back again you will be able to assure
yourself that it was yours.

* * *

At the present moment, we read, dogs are being imported in large numbers.
It should be pointed out, however, that dachshunds are still sold in
lengths.

* * *

A contemporary complains of the high cost of running a motor-car to-day. It
is not so much the high price of petrol, we gather, as the rising cost of
pedestrian.

* * *

The police, while investigating a case of burglary in a railway buffet,
discovered a bent crowbar. This seems to prove that the thieves tried to
break into a railway sandwich.

* * *

Mexican rebels have been ordered to stop indiscriminate shooting. It is
feared that the supply of Presidential Candidates is in danger of running
out.

* * *

"A Manchester octogenarian has just married a woman of eighty-six," says a
news item. It should be pointed out, however, that he obtained her parents'
consent.

* * *

"Although the old penny bun is now sold for twopence or even threepence it
contains three times the number of currants," announces an evening paper.
This should mean three currants in each bun.

* * *

A parrot belonging to a bargee escaped near Atherstone in War