Next year, perhaps, these Shetland birds
We'll visit--with a gun;
When--as we've taken all their eggs--
There'll probably be none!"

* * * * *

QUEER QUERIES.

DIVORCE FACILITIES.--I should like to be informed in what part of
the United States it is that a Divorce is granted in half-an-hour, at
a merely nominal fee, on the ground of conscientious objections to
monogamy? What is the cost of getting there, and would it be necessary
that my wife should go there too? There might be a difficulty in
persuading her to take the journey.

INCOMPATIBILITY.

* * * * *

A CANADIAN CALENDAR.

(_TO BE HOPED NOT PROPHETIC._)

1892. Reciprocity firmly established between the Dominion and the
U.S.A.

1893. Emigration ceases between the Dominion and the Mother Country,
and trade dies out.

1894. Return from Canada of families of the best blood to England and
France.

1895. Great increase of the Savage Indian Tribes in the country, and
the Improvident Irish Population in the towns of the Dominion.

1896. Practical suspension of trade between the Dominion and the
U.S.A., the latter having now attained the desired object of shutting
out goods of British manufacture from the American market.

1897. England refuses to assist Canada in resenting Yankee
encroachment in the seal fisheries.

1898. Canada asks to be annexed to the U.S.A.

1899. After some hesitation Uncle SAM consents to absorb the Dominion.

1900. Canada becomes a tenth-rate Yankee State.

* * * * *

THE DICTUM OF DIOGENES.

"One Man, One Vote!" A very proper plan
If you with each One Vote can find--One _Man_!

* * * * *

MRS. GRUNDY TO MR. GOSCHEN.

The Three per Cents, the Three per Cents,
Serene but mortal Three,
In view of recent sad events,
Oh! give them back to me.
Oh! GOSCHEN, Sir, kind gentleman,
Hear my polite laments;
Restore this trio, if you can--
Those musical Per Cents.

My income once was safe, if small;
It's larger, but unpaid,
Despite "the quite phenomenal
Development of Trade."
The "Bogus Man" is on the track,
And queer "Financial Gents"
Have promised me in white and black
Their Six and Ten per Cents.

The Three per Cents were regular,
Respectable, and good.
Their health was such that "under par"
They very seldom stood;