my
head. She was quite hysterical about my going; paid me such compliments
as I cannot repeat; cried; raved; called me dear, dear Macaulay. "You
are sacrificed to your family. I see it all. You are too good to them.
They are always making a tool of you; last Session about the slaves; and
now sending you to India!" I always do my best to keep my temper with
Lady Holland for three reasons; because she is a woman; because she is
very unhappy in her health, and in the circumstances of her position;
and because she has a real kindness for me. But at last she said
something about you. This was too much, and I was beginning to answer
her in a voice trembling with anger, when she broke out again: "I beg
your pardon. Pray forgive me, dear Macaulay. I was very impertinent. I
know you will forgive me. Nobody has such a temper as you. I have said
so a hundred times. I said so to Allen only this morning. I am sure you
will bear with my weakness. I shall never see you again;" and she cried,
and I cooled; for it would have been to very little purpose to be angry
with her. I hear that it is not to me alone that she runs on in this
way. She storms at the Ministers for letting me go. I was told that at
one dinner she became so violent that even Lord Holland, whose temper,
whatever his wife may say, is much cooler than mine, could not command
himself, and broke out: "Don't talk such nonsense, my Lady. What, the
devil! Can we tell a gentleman who has a claim upon us that he must lose
his only chance of getting an independence in order that he may come and
talk to you in an evening?"

Good-bye, and take care not to become so fond of your own will as my
Lady. It is now my duty to omit no opportunity of giving you wholesome
advice. I am henceforward your sole guardian. I have bought Gisborne's
Duties of Women, Moore's Fables for the Female Sex, Mrs. King's Female
Scripture Characters, and Fordyce's Sermons. With the help of these
books I hope to keep my responsibility in order on our voyage, and in
India.

Ever yours

T. B. M.

To Hannah M. Macaulay.

London: January 4, 1834.

My dear Sister,--I am now buying books; not trashy books which will only
bear one reading; but good books for a library. I have my eye on all the
bookstalls; and I shall no longer suffer you, when we walk together in
London, to drag me past them as you used to do. Pray make out a list of
any which you would like to have. The provision which I design for the
vo