of _The
Times_ article, the announcement that an international Balneo-Musical
Congress will be shortly held in the Albert Hall, with a view to
discussing the best methods of promoting harmonic hygiene. The arena, we
understand, is to be converted into a vast demonstration-tank, in which
prominent composers, conductors and singers will appear. Miss CARRIE
TUBB has kindly promised to preside. Amongst other items in the
programme we may mention an exhibition of under-water violin-playing by
Mr. Bamberger, and a game of symphonic water-polo between two teams of
Rhine maidens, captained by Herr NIKISCH and Sir HENRY WOOD
respectively.

* * * * *

Illustration: THE TRIUMPH OF THE ENEMY.

* * * * *

IDEAL HOLIDAYS.

SOME FURTHER OPINIONS.

_COLONEL ROOSEVELT._--There is no doubt whatever that the best holiday
ground is Brazil. There one can have excitement day and night. When one
is not escaping from a man-eating trout one is eluding a vampire bat. If
the time is slow one can always seek the Rapids. Next to Brazil I should
suggest the offices of the New River Company.

_MR. HOBHOUSE (P.M.G.)._--I know very little of holidays, having to keep
my nose to St. Martin's-le-Grind-stone day and night, but I have thought
that, if I did take a week or so off, I should choose to spend it on the
Post Office yacht, roughing it.

_SIR EDWARD CARSON._--Such time as I can spare from Ulster and my daily
journey to and from London I should like to spend in explaining to
REDMOND the duties of a War-lord.

_MR. FRANK TINNEY (the famous American tragedian)._--Ordinary holidays
is just so much junk. Me and ERNEST don't hold with them. Our idea of a
holiday is to go down town and hear jokes. The more jokes we hear the
bigger stock we have not to tell.

_MR. WINSTON CHURCHILL._--I have often wondered if a busy administrator
might not get a very restful time by steadily refusing to fly.

_MR. ASQUITH._--This talk about the constant need for holidays seems to
me to be, if I may say so, one of the great illusions of the day. The
wise man surely is he who, seated in his chair of office, welcomes every
new complication and perplexity that the moments bring, and in labour
finds the true repose.

_MR. MASTERMAN._--I am spending my own holiday just now very agreeably
in composing conundrums. This is my latest: "Why do I differ from my
trousers?" The answer is, "Because they don