To bell the cat.
You'd better obey
His judgement pat,

'Without delay
Remove the hat;
It's tit-for-tat,
We tell you flat,
You'll find it pay
To lift your hat.

'Obey the mandate of our chosen lawyer,
Remove that hat, or else we'll do it faw yer.'

'No, no,' said the Possum, shaking his head. 'No removing people's hats.
Removing hats is larceny, and you'll get six months for it.'

'No bashing heads, either,' said the Wombat. 'That's manslaughter, and
we'll have you hung for it.'

Bill scratched his head. 'This is an unforeseen predicament,' he said.
'Just mind them puddin'-thieves a minute, Ben, while we has a word in
private.' He took Sam and Bunyip aside, and almost gave way to despair.
'What a frightful situation,' wailed he. 'We can't unlawfully take a
puddin'-thief's hat off, and while it remains on who's to prove our
Puddin's under it? This is one of the worst things that's happened to
Sam and me for years.'

'It's worse than being chased by wart-hogs,' said Sam.

'It's worse than rolling off a cowshed,' said Bill.

'It's worse than wearing soup tureens for hats,' said Sam.

'It's almost as bad as swallowing thistle buttons,' said Bill, and both
sang loudly--

'It's worse than running in a fright,
Pursued by Polar bears;
It's worse than being caught at night
By lions in their lairs.

'It's worse than barrel organs when
They play from night till morn;
It's worse than having large-sized men
A-standing on your corn.

'It's worse than when at midnight you
Tread on a silent cat,
To have a puddin'-snatcher who
Will not remove his hat.'

'All is not yet lost,' said Bunyip Bluegum. 'Without reverting to
violent measures, I will engage to have the hat removed.'

'You will?' exclaimed Bill, grasping Bunyip by the hand.

'I will,' said Bunyip firmly. 'All I ask is that you strike a dignified
attitude in the presence of these scoundrels, and, at a given word,
follow my example.'

They all struck a dignified attitude in front of the puddin'-thieves,
and Bunyip Bluegum, raising his hat, struck up the National Anthem, the
others joining in with superb effect.

'Hats off in honour to our King,' shouted Bill, and off came all the
hats. The puddin'-thieves, of course, were helpless. The Wombat had to
take his hat off, or prove himself disloyal, and there was Puddin'
sitting on his head.

[Illustration]

'Now who's a liar?' shouted Bil