satisfied my
father and my brother. But the latter reproached me for having suffered
wrongdoing so long without complaint. To that I gave the simple answer,
that my father, at the beginning of my apprenticeship, had told me not
to come to him with any complaint, as I should never be listened to, but
should be considered as wrong beforehand. My brother, who knew my
father's severity and his views on such points, was silent. But my
mother saw in one declaration of the forester the confirmation of her
own opinion about me. The forester declared, that if ever anything was
made of me, the same good fortune might be told of the first-comer
without further trouble, and my mother assented heartily to his opinion.

Thus disappeared once more the light, the sunshine, which had gladdened
me with its warmth, especially in the more recent part of my life. The
wings of my mind, which had begun to flutter of themselves, were again
bound, and my life once more appeared all cold and harsh before me. Then
it happened that my father had to send some money to my brother
(Traugott), who was studying medicine in Jena. The matter pressed; so,
as I had nothing to do, it was decided that I should be the messenger.

When I reached Jena I was seized by the stirring intellectual life of
the place, and I longed to remain there a little time. Eight weeks of
the summer half-year's session of 1799 yet remained. My brother wrote to
my father that I could fill that time usefully and profitably in Jena,
and in consequence of this letter I was permitted to stay. I took
lessons in map and plan-drawing, and I devoted all the time I had to the
work. At Michaelmas I went home with my brother, and my step-mother
observed that I could now fairly say I had passed through the
university. But I thought differently; my intelligence and my soul had
been stimulated in many ways, and I expressed my wish to my father to be
allowed to study finance there, thus returning to my previous career. My
father was willing to give his permission if I could tell him how to
find the means. I possessed a very small property inherited from my
mother, but I thought it would be insufficient. However, after having
conferred with my brother, I talked it over with my father. I was still
a minor, and therefore had to ask the consent of my trustee to realise
my property; but as soon as I had obtained this I went as a student to
Jena, in 1799. I was then seventeen years and a half old.