a brilliant, deceitful
misery, and confessed to me that he had been only forced by necessity to
adopt this profession, and that he was soon about to abandon it. Once
again I learned by this to divide cause from effect, internal from
external things. My visits to the play brought upon me a most unpleasant
experience, for my father, when I spoke to him without concealment of my
playgoing, reproached me very bitterly for it. He looked upon my conduct
as deserving the highest punishment, which was in absolute contradiction
with my own view; for I placed the benefit I had derived from my
attendance at the play side by side with what I had received by my
attendance at church, and expressed something of the kind to my father.
As often happened in later life, so also on this occasion it was my
eldest brother who was the mediator between my father and myself.

On Midsummer Day 1799 my apprenticeship came to an end. The forester,
who could now have made my practical knowledge of service to himself,
wished to keep me another year. But I had by this time acquired higher
views; I wished to study mathematics and botany more thoroughly, and I
was not to be kept back from my purpose. When my apprenticeship was over
I left him, and returned to my father's house.

My master knew well that he had not done his duty towards me, and with
this probably humiliating consciousness before him, and in spite of the
thoroughly satisfactory testimonial that he gave me, he committed a very
mean action against me. He did not know anything about my private study;
for instance, my completely working through some elementary mathematical
books, which I had found myself quite well able to understand. Besides,
he was dissatisfied that I would not stay another year with him. He
therefore sent a letter to my father, in which he complained bitterly of
my conduct, and shifted the blame of my ignorance of my calling entirely
on to my shoulders. This letter actually arrived at home before I did;
and my father sent it on to my eldest brother, who was minister in a
village through which I had to pass on my way home. Soon after I reached
my brother's house he communicated to me the contents of this
inculpatory letter. I cleared myself by exposing the unconscientious
behaviour of my master, and by showing my private work. I then wrote a
reply to my master, clearly refuting all his accusations, and exhibiting
on the other hand his behaviour towards me; and with this I