our first parents in Paradise, and much connected
therewith.

There are yet three points touching my inner life up to my tenth year,
which, before I resume the narrative of my outer life, I should like to
mention here.

The folly, superstition, and ignorance of men had dared to assume then,
as they have done lately, that the world would soon come to an end. My
mind, however, remained perfectly tranquil, because I reasoned thus with
myself firmly and definitely:--Mankind will not pass from the world,
nor will the world itself pass away, until the human race has attained
to that degree of perfection of which it is capable on earth. The earth,
Nature in its narrowest sense, will not pass away, moreover, until men
have attained a perfect insight into its essence. This idea has returned
to me during my life in many a varied guise, and I have often been
indebted to its influence for peace, firmness, perseverance, and
courage.

Towards the end of this epoch, my eldest brother, already spoken of, was
at the university, and studied theology.[8] Philosophic criticism was
then beginning to elucidate certain Church dogmas. It was therefore not
very surprising that father and son often differed in opinion. I
remember that one day they had a violent dispute about religion and
Church matters. My father stormed, and absolutely declined to yield; my
brother, though naturally of a mild disposition, flushed deep-red with
excitement; and he, too, could not abandon what he had recognised as
true. I was present also on this as on many other occasions, an
unobserved witness, and can still see father and son standing face to
face in the conflict of opinion. I almost thought I understood something
of the subject in dispute; I felt as if I must side with my brother, but
there seemed at the same time something in my father's view which
indicated the possibility of a mutual understanding. Already I felt in a
dim way that every illusion has a true side, which often leads men to
cling to it with a desperate firmness. This conviction has become more
and more confirmed in me the longer I have lived; and when at any time I
have heard two men disputing for the truth's sake, I have found that the
truth is usually to be learnt from both sides. Therefore I have never
liked to take sides; a fortunate thing for me.[9]

Another youthful experience which also had a decided influence in
forming my cast of character, was the following:--There are certain
o