her feeling for her pale yellow, sweet-appearing mother.
The things she had in her of her mother, never made her feel respect.
In these young days, it was only men that for Melanctha held anything
there was of knowledge and power. It was not from men however that
Melanctha learned to really understand this power.
From the time that Melanctha was twelve until she was sixteen she
wandered, always seeking but never more than very dimly seeing wisdom.
All this time Melanctha went on with her school learning; she went to
school rather longer than do most of the colored children.
Melanctha's wanderings after wisdom she always had to do in secret and
by snatches, for her mother was then still living and 'Mis' Herbert
always did some watching, and Melanctha with all her hard courage
dreaded that there should be much telling to her father, who came now
quite often to where Melanctha lived with her mother.
In these days Melanctha talked and stood and walked with many kinds of
men, but she did not learn to know any of them very deeply. They all
supposed her to have world knowledge and experience. They, believing
that she knew all, told her nothing, and thinking that she was
deciding with them, asked for nothing, and so though Melanctha
wandered widely, she was really very safe with all the wandering.
It was a very wonderful experience this safety of Melanctha in these
days of her attempted learning. Melanctha herself did not feel the
wonder, she only knew that for her it all had no real value.
Melanctha all her life was very keen in her sense for real experience.
She knew she was not getting what she so badly wanted, but with all
her break neck courage Melanctha here was a coward, and so she could
not learn to really understand.
Melanctha liked to wander, and to stand by the railroad yard, and
watch the men and the engines and the switches and everything that was
busy there, working. Railroad yards are a ceaseless fascination. They
satisfy every kind of nature. For the lazy man whose blood flows very
slowly, it is a steady soothing world of motion which supplies him
with the sense of a strong moving power. He need not work and yet he
has it very deeply; he has it even better than the man who works in
it or owns it. Then for natures that like to feel emotion without the
trouble of having any suffering, it is very nice to get the swelling
in the throat, and the fullness, and the heart beats, and all the
flutter of exc
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