to be), and
leave me to the disgusting society of this "mild and gentle" barbarian
sitting beside me in such a state of stolid indifference, and thinking
only of a vulgar town, and his still more vulgar affairs in that town!

Consider again, Sir, the audacity of this person (called a _man_), in
repeating his odious question after the rebuke I had administered! Yes,
he actually repeated it! as though I were a long-lost acquaintance, of
whose identity he felt more than doubtful; I simply said to him (though
the slanderous report says I _screamed_ it), "You may think you are a
gentleman, Sir" (and here I claim is evinced a disposition to be fair
even to an enemy)--"you may _think_ you are a gentleman, Sir, to address
a lady so; but I do not wish to continue any further talk with you."

You may fancy the state of my feelings, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, at being
obliged to make this little speech, and my friend at the other end of
the car looking on, with wonder in every one of his expressive features,
and the conductor at that instant coming in and shouting, "ELIZABETH!"
as though I were called for and must go that very instant. Indeed, I
felt very much like doing so--but not, I assure you, on perceiving that
the "mild and gentle" ogre I have been speaking of was already going
out. No; I was thankful I was going further, though the behavior of the
remaining passengers was not calculated to inspire me with a very
quieting sense of ease.

You will, I am sure, excuse the feelings of a lady who has been insulted
by a ruffianly person (called a _man_), and affronted by a car-full of
insolent and vulgar mob, called the American Public. I hope the
gentleman at the other end of the car will take for granted that _he_
was not one of this brutal mob.

Yours, with much feeling,

MEDORA EUPHEMIA SLAPSADDLE.

* * * * *

THE LAST MOTTO OF THE JOHN REAL DEMOCRACY.--O'BRIEN,
LED--WITH a hook.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE POLITICAL CAT'S-PAW. JOCKO WOODFORD MAKES TOMCAT
LEDWITH USEFUL FOR PULLING THE ROASTED CHESTNUTS OFF THE FIRE.]

* * * * *

HIRAM GREEN INTERVIEWS HORACE GREELEY.

Some unpublished Facts--H.G. of the Tribune reveals to H.G. of
Punchinello what he Knows of Farming.

"H. G. OF THE _Tribune_, I believe," said I, reaching out and taking his
lilly-white hand, one Saturday mornin at Chattaqua.

"Jess so," said he, politely