ich is
the language we speak below, in preference to German, French, Volapuk,
or English. I thought I'd copy off a few lines of the French original,
and as true as I'm sitting here before your eyes, where you can't see
me, the copy I got was a good, though rather free, translation. Think of
it! That's an advanced machine for you!"

I looked at the machine wistfully. "I wish I could make it work," I
said; and I tried as before to tap off my name, and got instead only a
confused jumble of letters. It wouldn't even pay me the compliment of
transforming my name into that of Shakespeare, as it had previously
done.

It was thus that the magic qualities of the machine were made known to
me, and out of it the following papers have grown. I have set them
down without much editing or alteration, and now submit them to your
inspection, hoping that in perusing them you will derive as much
satisfaction and delight as I have in being the possessor of so
wonderful a machine, manipulated by so interesting a person as "Jim--Jim
Boswell"--as he always calls himself--and others, who, as you will note,
if perchance you have the patience to read further, have upon occasions
honored my machine by using it.

I must add in behalf of my own reputation for honesty that Mr. Boswell
has given me all right, title, and interest in these papers in this
world as a return for my permission to him to use my machine.

"What if they make a hit and bring in barrels of gold in royalties," he
said. "I can't take it back with me where I live, so keep it yourself."

II. MR. BOSWELL IMPARTS SOME LATE NEWS OF HADES

Boswell was a little late in arriving the next night. He had agreed to
be on hand exactly at midnight, but it was after one o'clock before the
machine began to click and the bell to ring. I had fallen asleep in the
soft upholstered depths of my armchair, feeling pretty thoroughly worn
out by the experiences of the night before, which, in spite of their
pleasant issue, were nevertheless somewhat disturbing to a nervous
organization like mine. Suddenly I waked, and with the awakening there
entered into my mind the notion that the whole thing was merely a dream,
and that in the end it would be the better for me if I were to give up
Aldus and other club dinners with nightmare inducing menus. But I was
soon convinced that the real state of affairs was quite otherwise, and
that everything really had happened as I have already related it to yo