sale at one of our big department stores, and I am quite as well
aware that nine out of ten women in Hades or out of it would enjoy
the millinery exhibition at the opera matinee--and if these two ideas
impress you at all you are welcome to them--but beyond this I have
nothing to suggest."

"Well, I'm sure those two ideas are worth a great deal," returned
Boswell, making a note of them; "I shall announce four trips to Monday
sales--"

"Call 'em 'To Bargaindale and Back: The Great Marked-down Tour,' and be
sure you add, 'For Able-bodied Women Only. No Tickets Issued Except on
Recommendation of your Family Physician.' This is especially important,
for next to a war or a football match there's nothing that I know of
that is quite so dangerous to the participants as a bargain day."

"I'll bear what you say in mind," quoth Boswell, and he made a note of
my injunction. "And immediately upon my return to Hades I will request
an audience with Henry's queens, and ask them to devise a number of
other tours likely to prove profitable and popular."

Shortly after my visitor departed and I retired. The next day my family
deserted me and went to the mountains, and all my fears as to the
inordinate sense of loneliness which was to be my lot were realized.
Even Boswell neglected me apparently for a week. I went to my desk
daily and returned at night hoping that my type-writer would bring forth
something of an interesting nature, but naught other than disappointment
awaited me. For a whole blessed week I was thrown back upon the society
of my neighbors for diversion. The type-writer gave no sign of being.

Little did I guess that Boswell was busy working up my scheme in his
Stygian home!

But it came to pass finally that I was roused up. Walking one morning to
my desk to find a bit of memoranda I needed, I discovered a type-written
slip marked, "No time for small talk. Boswell's tours grand success.
Trolley-party to-night. Ten cars wanted. Jim."

It was a large order for a town like mine, where forty thousand people
have to get along with five cars--two open ones for winter and two
closed for summer, and one, which we have never seen, which is kept for
use in the repair-shop. I was in despair. Ten car-loads of immortals
coming to my house for a trolley-party under such conditions! It was
frightful! I did the best I could, however.

I ordered one trolley-car to be ready at eight, and a large variety of
good things edible and dri