education with me, it will be your
resistance to the Light--not my level of evolution--that is responsible
for impeding your progress."
"Where does he come off sounding so sure of himself?" I wondered, my
doubts suddenly resurfacing. "I really need time to think about this."
"For me, leading people to enlightenment is old hat. Each of you have
been singled out to me through omens or through dreams. It was up to
me to hook you, to essentially trick you into pursuing the long,
arduous path to knowledge. Hooking takes place on an inner level and
can not be explained with words. Tricking is necessary because people,
left to their own devices, are inherently lazy and would avoid their
higher destiny."
Remembering how Don Juan hooked Castaneda, I figured that being hooked
and tricked into a higher destiny was probably okay--as long as
everything turned out all right. It was deeply ingrained in me to
believe that things tended to turn out all right.
"It is essential that you learn spiritual etiquette," Atmananda said.
"Do not hang pictures of me. Do not worship me. Do not treat me like
a guru. I am a teacher, a spiritual benefactor. You will have to
fight your impulses to treat me as though I were more important than
anyone else."
I liked his term "spiritual benefactor." It seemed to encompass the
spiritual worlds of the Guru and the mystical worlds of benefactor Don
Juan. I also liked his claim that he sought no special attention.
"Needless to say, you are free to leave at any time," he suddenly
lashed out. "No one is asking you to stay--believe me, you are not
doing anyone any favors!"
It made me upset and confused when Atmananda flipped to his emerging,
hostile personality.
"But if it is the highest good that you seek," he said, returning to a
gentler tongue, "you have come to the right place."
I suppressed a yawn. He had been speaking awhile, and it was well past
midnight. Exhausted, too, from the shock of Atmananda's sudden grab
for power, I became mesmerized by the sound and the rhythm of the words.
"You are caught up in trying to be someone you are not, and it is
clearly not working. You are fighting yourselves for no apparent
reason. Look, it's easy. You can stay the way you are and continue
living someone else's dream, or you can come with me on a walk to
nowhere. Leave aside your petty jealousies, your hates, your desires,
your attachments, your fears, and enter the worlds w
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